happy birthday to me.

yesterday was my birthday party. weee. it was tiring.. fun? humm.. i guess 
maybe. well i had it in the sweltering heat, OUTDOORS, wet floors, crowded
place.. get the picture? but i don't know it's ok i guess. i can't describe anything
about it forgive me haha. it's just it flew by so fast i can't remember. or maybe
it just felt like a normal thing, not something that really made me feel special. 

ooohh haha i could say that one part of it was kinda "whoaa" for me. it was when 
they did this 18  roses thing for me. at first i was really breathing deep to keep 
my feelings in.. but when it got to my mom and she got to the part where 'she 
didn't want to be here in the first place.." i broke down haha. i didn't care if i 
did so in front of strangers, i don't care. i wasn't crying because it was my mom 
who said it.. blah blah. it was because everything that i was holding in from the 
start flooded out. it was supposed to be MY SPECIAL DAY and those special 
to me weren't there. my frends, boyfrend, cousins. they are the ones who 
really know me. not the ones that just met me at the party and were forced 
to make a wish/hope for me because there wasn't enough people to do it. 
i broke down because of that. i wished with all my might that they were there..
that they were the ones that were wishing me wishes. hay.. 

late last night haha when i was about to sleep.. i checked my email/ym/blog
first(what i always do..). and haha i was happy to find kat there. hehe la lang 
we got to talk about her plans of studying here..(waa i forgot about the research
i was supposed to do!) and me trying to convince her some more that it's nice
here. hay.. wish she was here already. haha kanina nga i announced in the car
that kat has already registered for the sat and then even my dad said na samin
nalang xa tumira hehe. that's why kat if your still doubting whether welcome
ka o hindi? oo welcome ka nga eh!

red and i are still not talking. i miss him. truly. i remembered something just
now which made me so sad. hay.. i remember his words back before i was about
to leave. i remember perfectly. he was saying that kapag andito na daw ako i
would like it here and i was all, hindi beb hindi gusto ko padin dito kasi andito
ka. tama nga xa.. hay. i'm teary eyed right now haha. la lang.. everything he says
is true. hay.. pero lam nyo kung bakit hindi ko xa knakausap ngaun? know why?
kasi in a way pagod na akong tnatawag na stupid at tanga. pagod na akong
tntrato in that way. i miss him pero ako mismo ang hindi kmkausap sa kanya.
weird ko noh? i'm stopping myself from actually talking to him. is it true kaya 
na ung mga gusto ko nlang ung sinusunod ko? un din sabi nya eh. that i'm
unfair and that i only do what i want.. not thinking of him. he says this kasi
even though daw ayaw nyang mgtrabaho ako gngawa ko padin, kahit na ng-
hihintay xa gabi gabi tuloy lang daw ako, para lang masaya ako. hay.. is it true?
hay.. am currently feeling SAD big time. minsan kaya hindi ko nlang xa iniisip
kasi everytime i think of him i feel sad. even ko ba.. he has this power to just
suck out all my happiness and givit back in return. hay.. i am currently lost
bout what to do with our relationship. we had so much, yet so little. huhuhu..

i got kat's gift today haha. THANK YOU KAT! i'm currently wearing the
necklace that you gave me hehe. and the dog is gonna go beside me tonight
sleep. haha it's one of the best presents i've got! ^_^ thanks kat for
remembering.

i'm planning on buying a laptop from the birthday money that i got.. (i'd
have to chip in some money from my paycheck though.) but then i'm
torn. do i buy the laptop? or should i just save the money for my ticket
to go back home? i'm torn.

HAY SOO MANY CHOICES IN LIFE. WHY HAS LIFE GOT TO BE THIS
CRAZY?

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO ME. WISHING MYSELF THIS. HAY. WISH
SOMEONE ELSE WAS WISHING ME THE SAME.

pheww.

haha sabi ko kay kat ilalagay ko na dito ung mga snsulat ko sa kanya sa office hehe. 
(hindi pala kay kat.. i just told myself hehe.) pero ala lang these past few days, hindi
ko alam ba kung mgging sad ako o masaya. hay.. kasi ganito. i want to be happy 
kasi si kat sabi nya na baka dito daw xa mgaaral.. xempre naman excited ako nun
noh. hay.. tapos sabay naman nun ngka-misunderstanding nnaman kami ni red. 

hay.. kala ko pa naman na ung past few days na masaya kami tatagal na. it was 
jst an illusion. hay.. nalulungkot talaga ako. di ko pa nga xa knakausap since 
yesterday. ala lang.. i don't want to share what he says to me basta to make it 
short, it's not encouraging. lam mo un prang i was soo happy talaga huhuhu.. 
tapos in one second pof.. no more. he said sorry this morning but i didn't reply 
or anything. the only thing that i've done was to text him goodnight and gud
morning. haha well ala lang ito isang snabi nya sakin which really hurts.. 

'alam mo minsan ngdadasal ako kay lord. sana ibalik nya ung time tapos 
bumalik dun sa time na hindi nlang kita nakilala tapos maaus ang lahat. sana 
ung maalala ko nlang ung ako at ung nasa paligid ko ngaun. ung wala ka dun.'

hindi ba masakit un kung ikaw sinabihan nun? huhuhuhu.. ayoko nlang kasing
mgdwell dun eh huhu.. kaya nga after that at least andun si kat tapos prang 
ngcheerup sakin with the news na baka dito xa aral. hay.. minsan i just don't 
want to talk about things like this. pero ala lang i just need an outlet klangan 
kong ilabas.. kaya eto sa blog nlang ako nglalabas kasi ndi naman toh sasagot 
sakin eh kahit mgsalita ako ng sobrang haba wlang mngyayari. 

hay.. pero sa totoo lang i miss him soo much. hay.. totoong mahirap ung sit-
wasyon namin, no question. pero what's making it harder is ung eto na nga 
mgkahiwalay na nga pero ngaaway naman. pero i really, really MISS HIM. 
minsan i just hug myself because i imagine nlang na andito xa ngeembrace 
sakin. minsan i just sit outside just imagining things.. what if may sarili na 
kaming bahay dito? sino kaya ung nglalaba? ngpputol ng damo? what if 
nkapunta si red dito? naiimagine ko ung kaming dalawa lang tapos mgppunta
kami sa mga themeparks.. dun sa mga beach hay.. hehe ngaun lang uli ako 
napaiyak kasi ngaun ko lang naiisip uli. hay i miss him too much. i love him. 

hay.. hehe well eto on a happy note naman.. ala lang nung sinabi ni kat na 
baka dito xa aral ala lang masaya na din ako. hehe sinabi ko nga sa momy 
ko eh tapos before ko pa sabihin kung pede si kat sa bahay magstay xa na 
ung ngsabi na samin si kat mgstay hehe. so kat sabi sayo eh welcome na 
welcome ka dito noh! hay ndi ko padin nppasend ung gift ko kay kat ang 
tagal..>.< sa sunday ppunta dito ung tito ko sana masend hehe at least kung
fedex, 3 days lang ata hehe. hay hehe sana mgamit ni kat haha. la lang it's 
not the usual na bnbigay ko na kakikayan or something ala lang it's some-
thing different from what i always give. hehe sana magamit ni kat. grr.. 

i went to work today without my mom. my mom had high blood pressure
kaya ndi nlang xa pmasok, ako nalng. hehe first time un.. prang ang 
boring nga ng araw na toh kasi wla pa nmang plans na isscan, hindi pa 
kasi naccheck ni terry kung no bid ba or biddable ung sets. anyway aun, 
ngfax lang ako, organize whatever na mpagawa sakin hehe. tapos eh nung
hapon ala na akong mgawa hehe kaya dun muna ako sa office ng mom ko 
ginawa ko ung reconciliation ng payroll. haha diba nasabi ko na nman na 
gnagawa ko din ung ibang accounting hehe para help sa mom ko. la lang 
eh prang ala na talaga akong mgawa hehe wla lang ikot ikot lang dun sa 
comp >.< hay.. 

sori at hindi ko pa nalalagay ung mga letter/blog entries na snulat ko dun 
sa office. ala lang, scratch lang un at mahirap intindihin kaya nkkatamad
buklatin eh. hehehe excuse nlang muna ako. hay sa sunday na ung 'party' 
ko. blahh.. ala lang, not at all excited. hay.. hehe lam mo ba, prang ala lang 
i'm curious kung anong mngyayari sa birthday ko mismo.. hindi ung party 
ha.. as in birthday lang. la lang curious ako kung ano ggawin ni red.. kung 
tatawag ba xa o text man lang? kung meron bang tatawag sakin? la lang.. 
thinking of that just makes me depressed. kasi prang ala naman. prang hay
no one would do that. oh well.. no use crying over spilled milk. 

hihiga nlang nga ako at manonood ng tv hehe. la lang i was thinking of 
playing mU pero baka maabutan ako dun ni red so wag nlang. hay la lang
i'm so weird. ako tong ngssabing miss na miss ko na xa pero ako ung ng-
aavoid. ala lang.. prang in a way nammilosopo ako. sabi nya sana ndi nya
ako maalala? di ndi ako mgpparamdam. hangang sa mkaya ko hehe. hay. 
i just et sadder and sadder. hay.. 

tagal na din pala akong hindi ngspam dun sa barkada trip. hindi ko kasi talaga 
alam ung website eh>.< and complicated kasi nung url kaya di ko nman 
memorize.. grr.. oh well, so much for being the mistress of assonance or 
whatever hehe. maybe next time. 

tah-tah for now. i'll just watch damned tv. or something hay.  

happy day pretty much messed up.

i started the day really great. hay.. the previous post explains why it was ruined. 

well, today, i woke up at 5:30 am (should have woken up earlier.. too bad i was 
deaf to alarm clocks.) finding red waiting for me. and i just had this warm, 
embracing feeling when i was talking with him. the negativity was gone and he 
was so happy.. joking around and making me lambing. hay.. <3>were playing MU 
(our way of having fun.) he joined the duelmaster..(some kind
of in-game event wherein only a select few could join. long story.) and we were
both nervous haha. i felt good having to cheer him on and supporting him out 
there. unfortunately, he lost to the other guy.(only because the guy had a far 
better weapon.. red's weapon was only borrowed as he didn't use that character
that much..) i should have felt bad or something but instead i felt happy.^_^ haha
kasi before if he loses or something bad in-game, his mood would just be bad the 
whole time. but kanina, NO haha he was so accepting that he lost. he was like, 
ok lang un mas maganda ung sword nya eh. haha and the funny thing is, xa pa 
ngssabi sakin mgstop! ^_^ hahahah! kasi i was saying 'ano ba yan ang daya', that 
kind of stuff and he was the one telling me, beb aus lang hehe. babuy talaga hehe
:@) . 

and the best part of that? when i told him that i was going to take a bath already
to get ready for work.. that part where we usually go bad, he was cool about it!
and while i was at work pa, he texted me na, 'ingat ka dyan beb ha? pahinga ka 
kapag uwi mo para mkausap ulit tayo maya.^^ i miss having you near me beb..
love you..' hay.. <3>morning. 

ok next blog haha. tonight is a night of blogs.  

GRR.

naiinis ako minsan kapag ngyayari ganito.. GARRR!! lam mo ba minsan prang tntreat 
kasi ako na wlang boyfrend. eto nnaman momy ko may nkilala nnamang pilipino tapos
ung anak daw na LALAKE nursing din daw tapos mgging pareho kaming skul.. tapos 
naririnig ko uusap sila ng dady ko, un buti nameet natin un para may makilala na si 
diane dun sa skul nya. alam ko na i'm over-reacting sorry nlang hehe. pero ala lang as
much as possible xempre gusto kong mgavoid sa mga ganun. hay.. bahala sila. 

haha kanina tuloy nsagot ko momy ko.. or something basta sumagot. kasi ngpunta 
kaming flower shop pero closed na. tapos prang mom ko nghhanap pa ng flower shop. 
eh tinanong ko, para san ba ung flowers? para sa cake?? tapos sabi nya, para mrong
18 flowers/roses daw. prang sagot ko, "eh anong 18 roses eh mga isang beses ko lang 
nakita yang mga yan!" hay.. ala lang kasi prang pinipilit na magustuhan ko dito or 
something, pinipilit akong makipaginteract sa ibang tao eh ayoko nga eh! prang ewan 
talaga. hay.. hindi ko nga kilala mga ppunta eh. totoo ung sinabi ko kay kuya jv nung
isang araw.. na bakit pa ako mgddebut party eh di ko naman mga kilala andun? 
haha i don't care about those people, what's so special about that? hay.. not really 
excited about the damn party to tell you the truth. what just excites me is ung 
planning, ung looking for stuff for it, pero as to feeling all special and excited about 
it? no, sorry nalang.

tulad nung sabi ko kay kuya jv.. i'd rather have no party at all than have complete 
strangers pretending to celebrate with me. haha. 


*fyi.. hindi pa ito ang aking blog kat haha ung snsabi kong sinusulat ko. ito lang ay
ang aking paglalabas ng feelings na masama.   

sleep. eat. work.

well that composes my day. and computer pa pala haha. pero i don't have that 
much time for it anymore. i haven't talked to red for a few days na.. hay. hope 
he'd understand din my situation. 

i'm tired since yesterday pa.. work. i don't wake up early na nga eh. huhu.. that's 
one reason why i didn't have the time to catch red. he is right.. na kapag ngwork
ako, mwwalan ako ng time para samin. pero what could i do.. you know, first ko 
ata tong post na hindi tungkol sa mga happy stuff haha. eh wala kasi akong mpag-
labasan ng feelings eh. kaya eto. ano toh? xanga all over again?? ala lang some-
times at work naiisip kong tumawag sa kanya, may card naman ako to call sa 
philippines ndi ko lang gngamit. saving it haha. sometimes kasi prang lam mo ung
feeling na ur hoping for something to happen? haha.. minsan nga prang ng
iimagine ako.. what if paguwi ko nlang ng bahay meron plang flowers na nghhintay
para sakin? or out of the blue bglang ngring ung cell ko tapos tumawag xa.. ala 
lang gusto ko ng ganun eh.. 

hehe i know naman na he's not that kind of guy. hindi xa ung ma'frills' na tao 
eh. i know that and understand that. hehe pero xempre girl.. can't help but 
expect diba? hay.. basta i hope na everything would just straighten itself out. 

kanina pala at work, i was thinking..

"humm.. kung sa xmas ako umuwi, mahal na ung ticket, maiksi ung time, 
ndi pa ako ganun nkapagsave ng pera. pero what if kaya, sa may ako umuwi? 
basta sa time na summer din dun? by that time, may pera na akong nasave, 
mura ang ticket kasi ndi peak time, tapos mggawa ko pa kung anong mga 
gusto ko!"

pero that would mean na tatagal nnaman ung wait ko pauwi. hay.. una, june. 
tapos pnlano ko, birthday ko. tapos xmas. tapos summer naman?? ano ba toh! 
hay hehe.. to tell you the truth, nung isang gabi hehe umiiyak ako patulog. 
i kept on repeating in my head.. huhu gusto ko ng umuwi.. hehe ngmmakaawa 
na nga ako sa diyos nun eh.. i just want to go home. i want to, i want to. 
next week na ung party ko.. haha it's "my" party pero ako ba nginvite sa mga 
guests? ngek eh mga hindi ko nga kaclose eh! haha if it were my party.. kung 
ako ung massunod, wala nalang akong party, isave nlang ung pera para umuwi
ako. hay.. ewan ko ba kung sino na ung mga invited. hay.. hehe kapag merong
ngbigay sakin ng gusto ko sa birthday ko, aba sasambahin ko talaga un. i'd 
thank that person talagang talaga. hay.. haha hope someone could just hear 
me. 

hehe si nikole ang bilis ng mgreply himala. ala lang nkkamiss din pala un kausap 
hehe. ung kwentuhan lang at kung anu ano. haha ang galing nga eh, ngiinternet 
xa sa computer time?? haha bigyan ko din daw xang gift, frendship day daw 
haha! asa noh.. joke. maybe xmas haha birthday and xmas gift at the same time
na. grr.. dapat kanina ko na npasend dun sa tito ko ung gift ko ke kat.. pero
hindi ko pa nssulatan ung card ko para sa kanya eh kaya un next week nlang 
kapag pmunta xa uli.. 

hehe meron parin akong ano ba tong mentality na toh.. ung "ako lang.." 
mentality. ala lang i read kat's blog kasi kanina la lang prang you know, the 
green snake, jealousy haha. prang when she said na she's becoming really 
close with kaye and.. uhmm guy. hehe. la lang naisip ko kasi, what if maging 
mas close na si kat dun? T_T xa na nga lang best frend ko.. oh well ndi 
naman cguro ganun un eh. grrr.. haha pnlano ko na na magging outcast ako 
sa skul hehe. i don't really mind and care. pake ba nila sakin noh? haha hindi 
na kasi ako ung dati na can't stand na wlang kausap. la lang hehe ok lang na 
loner ako wala nmang mngyayari sakin eh. tska sino ba mga mgging class-
mates ko? mttanda na cguro. wala nmang ngnnursing dito eh. mron kami 
knina nameet na filipino sa supermarket ng mom ko.. sabi nya ung anak daw 
nya nursing din daw same skul, new student, tapos ewan ko ba first year? 
third year? don't know.. pero, lalake. takot ako sa lalake. haha. well not 
really but as much as possible, i'm trying to avoid them. hay.. la lang it's 
just trying to avoid temptation haha. 

kanina while i was scanning, rick messina..(old guy, nice, ok) asked me, 
'so were you born in the states?' sabi ko no. sabi nya kasi daw ang galing na
ng english ko.. di kwento ko naman na kasi 2nd language sa phils is english
tapos sa skul english din ang medium of instruction. wala lang hehe.. hindi 
lang xa ung ngsabi na maaus daw ung english ko eh.. meron pa si lech 
lewandowski..(russian, matanda din, mabait, prati akong tnatanong,'still 
scanning?') sabi nya dati na two years daw nga xang ng night school dati 
para lang matututo ng english kasi daw kahit konti ndi xa mkapagsalita 
ng english. tapos sabi nya buti daw ako na mgaling na daw english. 

talagang may edge talaga mga filipinos dito. kita mo nga tong mga taga
ibang countries ndi mkaintindi ng english eh mga filipinos aus na. well, 
sabi yan ng momy ko kaya.. ok. 

well tapos na akong kumain at mgwork. eto at nkapagcomputer na ako
ng saglit. kaya time to sleep naman haha. kita mo this is my day na? 
oohh just to add pala.. kaya din pala naisip ko na sa summer nlang 
next year umuwi kasi kung ganun mkkapagsave ako ng pera tapos 
mkkabili na akong laptop. ^_^ mura lang naman laptop dito eh.. sana 
nga kung bigyan man ako ng birthday gift, sana bigyan ako ng laptop. 
haha gusto ko ung colorful haha. (flashback, conversation with kat haha.) 

oh well.. goodnight. mwuah.   

haha.

 

just watched high school musical on tv with my brother enzo.. haha nice
teeny-booper movie haha i like those hehe. anyway, saw this guy, zac efron
(the blond guy paired up with the latina looking girl..). la lang caught my
eye. *gwapo!* oh well hehe.. just felt light when i watched it hehe forgot
my problems for a couple of minutes. hehe just sharing naman noh. oh well..

happy day to you all. ^_^

complicated.

why does my life have to be so complicated? haha parang galing sa song yan
ha.. but really. it really does apply to my life. why is it that everything just
happens to me? why is it that when i look at other peoples lives, mine seems 
to be the most complicated? haha i'm not saying that i am the most problem-
atic person in the world.. it's just i'm at the breaking point already! i can't
take all the pressure coming from everywhere.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

ok kat you win.

haha ok kat you win. mgppatingin na ako sa doktor. haha. i didn't go to work 
today hehe coz my back really hurts. anyway at least i get to rest and relax 
another day. i have an appointment with a chiropractor tomorrow..(this is 
a profession i've only learned today.. chiropractor = back doctor haha.) oh 
well.. hope everything goes well. didn't tell my mom about the other symptom.
oh well maybe tomorrow. 

so what happened between last night and this morning? nothing actually 
other than that i slept already and woke up to yet another back pain. haha 
ok so now i remember what 'interesting' things happened here since my last
post. and it all involves my baby brother paco.. 

ok incident #1...
   - haha full length mirror falls and breaks on my brother. haha. it was because
he is so scared of lightning that at the first crack, he hid in the closet with 
my other brother, enzo. they were in there when, maybe because of an unstable
foundation, the mirror fell right on top of hiM! haha good thing i escaped with 
only one bruise but other than that, he's fine. 

incident #2... 
    - i was almost dozing off last night when i heard this soun dof trickling water. 
it was coming from outside. i looked out, and because it was dark, assumed 
that it was my dad maybe wringing out water from some clothes. and then 
paco walked back in the room! waa! he was sleepwalking and he peed on the 
carpet! ewwww! so i woke him up, and told him to go to my mom's room! 
haha this morning it was still wet. haha guess how i know?? eww bloody 
forgot that he did that and accidentally stepped on the wet carpet! gross! 


ok so stuff that involved paco. grr i took pictures of myself already.. (just as i've
told kat when i said that i'd post pictures of my vainness too.) but then can't 
find the right usb cable! grr.. remembered that we lent it to my tito! argh. 
oh well.. 

humm.. payday on friday! haha planning to save more than half of that. I WILL 
SAVE. haha. and it's my mom's birthday on the 15th. my cousin from New York
coming on the 16th. that's why were planning on eating out on the 16th. i 
already thought of what to do for my mom's birthday. i'm gonna treat them 
all out! it's just.. i don't know where exactly.. here are my choices.. 

  > Perkin's.. ate there last friday. good food. there's pancakes there too! not 
that expensive well maybe because of the coupons we had haha. each dish 
priced at around $6-8 average. 

   > international buffet.. pig out again! each adult goes for about $10 each but 
at least we can eat our hearts delight. yummy food too. sushi! yum. 

   > cici's pizza.. this could be good too! it's a pizza, pasta and salad buffet and is 
reasonably priced at $4.50 a person! there you could eat countless pizzas! i'm 
kinda thinking of eating here but want mom's birthday to be a little bit special. 

   > outback.. my mom loves eating here. well, entrees here are a little pricey 
for my budget but ok, it's good. average meal costs $10-15.


so what do you think? where are we gonna eat? i'm kinda opting for the 
international buffet but we had yado's birthday there already. uhmm.. no 
one really cares right? humm i'm getting hungry with all this thinking. 
so what do you thinK??   

new template.

haha i saw that kat had a new template so okay.. new template for me too! 
haha ang gaya gaya ko talaga haha. anyway, i plan to write this whole thing 
in tagalog.. taglish nlang pala haha so masaya. 


wala padin ako sa mood maglagay ng mga effects kaya mgdusa nlang kayo 
kkabasa ng mahaba kong post. soo wala namang ngyari ngaun eh andito lang 
naman ako sa house! nkausap ko na si kat ngaun hehe ala lang mahabang 
kwento eh just between us nlang un. *wink* 

ay haha nkahanap na pala ako ng pic na mgkkasya para sa profile pic ko wee 
haha. this is it.. 


      oops.. why can't i post it?? grr. spent like 15 minutes trying to post the
      pic. oh well just look at my new profile pic.


anyway got kat and nikole's cell numbers today haha. will text them sometime.
grr must remember that prepaid is kinda expensive so limit my text messages.

got to play with red this afternoon. he's still kinda mad at me.. bout the whole
"i-don't-want-you-working" thing. hay.. i wish everything would just straighten
itself out. haha sent him a picture message before he slept. haha hope that would
lighten him up. i just miss him so much. really.

grr.. the webcam that i ordered on ebay still hasn't arrived. well maybe the seller
just sent it late or something. but the first two things that we bought on ebay.. sim
card and yado's book arrived already so where's the webcam? oh well i must just
be too excited haha. hay didn't tell you yet how i feel when i see red on the screen.
haha i'd be smiling all the time! haha just want to get the webcam already so he's
sees me smiling at him. and joke around like him haha.

o well.. still don't know anyone out here. well, count out those family frends and
relatives. no frends yet. well i'm not complaining. not really out to meet anyone haha.
i just want to focus on certain people and that's it. i guess that's why i got really close
to kat only in high school then came red then him too. i realized that i'm not into big
groups that much. i'm more of a one-best frend-boyfrend girl. haha but now at least
i have this blog. and since i came here, i've been more in touch with my other frends
so that's great too. but i don't regret anything.. don't regret not having more best
frends.. don't regret being really serious with red.. don't regret anything. well may
be i regret not being there for kat that much last year.. or giving more attention to
my relationship with red BUT OTHER THAN THAT, i regret nothing haha.

oh well this post ends here now. don't have anything else to say at the moment eh.
haha hope kat's having a wonderful time with her cousins haha and in school. haha
i'm more into the sharing-my-best frend thing already haha. before i got jealous
and stuff, well now it's not that much haha. well i can't do anything naman eh hehe
we're in different places. but i know naman the bond will always be there!

sorry nlang kat haha ayoko talaga ng dota eh hehe so i can't play with yoU! but i
can try?? uhmm hehe ibang usapan na un!


tah-tah dahlings. haha weird. read that in books before and never really had the
gut to say that. oh well.. i must be growing up.

my ultra long-catchin' up-one week long... POST.

dinner.. check. comfy chair.. check. ice cream.. yummy. inspiration.. almost there.

haha. well here it is. hehe i'm still not that enthusiastic 'bout putting effects..
(effects equals.. big capped words, colored.. err whatever.) hehe humm soo..
when was the time i wrote? ahh i remember. my post about the buffet.. and
food.. yum.. *drooling*

hehe. well here it is.. hehe.


MONDAY, July 3..

humm.. went to work. but there were so little employees and some even started
leaving without permission, SO the company declared a shutdown. weird noh? why
shutdown pa eh pede namang halfday. ANYWAY. hehe.. after that we went to big lots
(something like uhmm SM.. basta it's a cheap supermarket.) just remembered haha
BEFORE that we went to the library to drop off yado and enzo who opted out of going
shopping. i was to bring them inside then suddenly something weird happened to me.
as we were walking to the entrance, we came along this long, stretch limo. it was weird
seeing one in the library, it was even weirder to see teenage girls in it! AND what was
the weirdest was what they said to me. oh maybe not THAT weird.

so they were looking out the window and out of nowhere, they told me, "hey, you're
pretty." and i was like, thank you?? in that weird face. i didn't know if they really
meant it or if they were just making fun of me. so i didn't really think of it. i even
forgot that they were outside. so when i went out, i really didn't think they'd pay
attention to them. so to my big surprise (as in literally jumping haha.) they said as I
was on my way to the car, "hey, sexy." ?? me?? sexy?? uhmm they talking to me?? 
me?? haha after that i just walked faster to the car in the hope of avoiding anymore
contact with them. didn't know really if they were picking on me or if they were
serious. haha beware of the limo riding-flash talking teeange girls.

ANYWAY, so there went to big lots. bought sunglasses haha coz my old ones broke.
sunglasses are essential here to much sun. after that we went to the beach! hehe..
the beach is just so near here. so we went there coz my relatives were going the
next day. and with the reports that there was red tide daw, we just had to check
the beach out. so there we were.. and i just saw dairy queen! what would be better
than a day at the beach with a cupful of ice cream?? oh well maybe something else..
but that was good too! haha. so i thought of treating my brothers and mom to ice
cream wee. so there we were waiting in line to order and poof! rain! er.. weird
florida weather! sunny sun in the morning.. rainy rain in the afternoon! anyway so
we ate the ice cream in the car.

anyway that was my monday haha ang haba na ng kwento ko monday palang! :-)


TUESDAY, July 4.. 

independence day haha. ng americans. oh well today i got to talk with red the
whole day.. which is rare these days hay. i got to wish him goodnight. miss him..
hay anyways, after that we went to the beach already with some of my titos and
titas and cousins/family frends. there we just lounged around, with me being
babysitter again haha. but i'd rather do that than interact with the adults/teenagers.
haha cute babies.. benjamin, lance and rj. hehe loved playing in the sand with
them. when nightfall came there was fireworks. it was nice just sitting in the
sand and watching fireworks going off just in front of you. haha they encountered
a 'minor' glich (fire on the boardwalk! fire on the boardwalk!) but other than
that, everything went on smoothly. hay.. sitting there alone made me miss
someone terribly. haha just had to content myself to imagining what might
have happened if red was there. hay..

didn't talk that much to my cousins.. didn't have much to say anyway. humm..
happy fourth!


WEDNESDAY, July 5


**forgot to mention that i've been active in the barkada trip message boards 
last week. haha been the top daily poster for about a few days haha. currently,
part of the top ten overall posters. keep on spammin'!**


ok wednesday.. haha i didn't go to work mainly because i wanted to talk to red 
some more haha. and also 'coz of stress. anyway there it was just a lazy day. 
got to relax a bit hehe. 


THURSDAY, July 6... 


ok so it's back to work for me. humm just did what i do usually. plans.. fixing..
you know. humm had yummy mac and cheese again for lunch (haha whole box
for me again hehe..) my mom wasn't there for lunch coz her officemates treated
her coz they'd be on vacation by the time my mom celebrated her birthday so
there. when they got back, she brought with her yummy food yummm... ate all
of it except for the potato skin thing coz it was causing me to have gas.

can't believe i've been a total pig already! just realized (no, not at all haha.) that
i consume a LOT of food a day hehe. right now i just ate like two big servings of
ice cream and doing nothing good to lose all that fat.


FRIDAY, July 7...

nothing really happened today. been really bored at work coz all i did was carry
heavy plans that are gonna be stored anyway. and they most likely wouldn't
even be used anymore so what's the use? but that's what they made me do so
FINE.

ohh i got my t-mobile sim today. haha got to try it out and texted red. <3>texting him ever since. but not like before na it's parang attached to me na.. i have
to think of the costs din noh! and mahal un sa part nya!

dear kat.

hehe uhmm sori for not posting for a long time.. medyo may tampururuk ako 
eh hehe. no, it's not about red.. we have no problem.. (uhmm.. or something 
that would make me NOT write hehe.) la lang hehe it's just something about 
the thing about taking out ur blog from my site. HAHA. i know it's too shallow 
it's just i don't know.. i felt like you were accusing me or something. tapos 
there was rose pa hehe.. no i'm not mad at you guys haha baka isipin nyo eh!  it's just it made me feel bad.. kaya nga ngtambay ako sa barkada trip eh
hehe.. (thought: 2 days na akong di ngppost dun ah..) sori if i wasn't in touch
ha.. hayyers... hehe i'm gonna write a next post that's gonna make up for one
week of not writing in here! :-) sorry guys.. 


babush!   

tired.

it's been a long time since i last posted here hehe.. ala lang i don't know, 
must be that the initial excitement just wore off. or maybe because of some
thing else. humm.. anyway, a lot has happened since my last post. i'm quite
tired already so may post it some other time nalang.
 

hehe just remembered red's pics of himself. want to post those. or not hehe.. 
those are MINE. <3>

go manny pacquiao!

i'm pretty tired. woke up early today haha and suddenly sat in front of the computer 
right away. (f.y.i. computer just beside me when i sleep and so is the t.v.) know why? 
'coz i promised red the other night that i would 
wait for him at around 1 in the morning here hehe so that we could talk pa
(mom and dad wasn't here as they were at my tito's to watch manny pacquiao 
beat mexican butt!)pero as soon as i learned that the match was over, (5-0 philippines.. humm something fishy?)  dad and mom came minutes after. so 
naturally i had to go back to the room to pretend that i am sleeping pero instead
of pretending, i instantly fell asleep. (gawd ang haba naman ng kwentong yan!) so
that's the story why i woke up with a jump today. haha but at least red and i got a
chance to play this morning. i felt really happy this morning.^_^ one of the few times
when the mood isn't heavy and bad. oh well i was just so happy this morning.. 


sorry. currently experiencing brain drain. feeling pretty sleepy and air headed. 


Series of Fortunate and Unfortunate Events in the Copy Room Girl's Day.


1. went to the international buffet after mass today. MAJOR PIGGING OUT! i was 
totally craving for sushi and it was satisfied. got so full that i didn't even have room for ice cream. wish i 
ate/tasted everything. haha now regretting not eating some of the dishes. well, there's
always next time.

2. this morning when 
red and i were playing, nothing i just felt so happy. (can you tell? haha just realized 
that i mentioned this already..) we weren't bickering at each 
other or arguing or fighting.. it was just like before. lambingans, kulitans, the 
works.. hay wish it would be like that from now on.

3. wento to party city today 'coz my mom thought of looking through themes na for 
my small birthday party and my mom suggested a 'purple' themed party. i was like, 
my favorite color is red and i wanted red, but my momy said that if we used red
everything it wouldn't look good and the guests would think that tey just stepped into
target! o well, so agreed to that one. found a card for kat too while we were there haha
now to find a gift. humm humm..

4. went to old navy (to wait out the rains..) and waa my first shopping spree here!
and they were on sale! haha was so nice to have money to spend and buy whatever
you want haha. anyway, got to try out loads of stuff and 
finally settled for a bolero, two tops and a skirt. uhmm.. well got to budget next time but really, now that i know how it feels to buy clothes, i want
more! hehe..

5. went home afterwards to see happy/positive messages from red. haha can't this
day get any better? ^_^ la lang.. even though he knew that we were going to be out
for the afternoon, he still waited for me. that's what he does all the time. he takes
care and thinks of me always. hay.. wishing he was just here with me.



o well, list ends there. sori it's got no fancy stuff on it just really tired. it's almost 12
midnight and igot to wake up at 6 tomorrow. well, got to go. posting again tomorrow.
i hope every day is just like today.  

that bites.

grr.. that last post bites.  haha it would have been perfect but then oh grr the lines were so long! grr it was soo nice (haha proud noh?) and then got ruined by that thing. hay.. anyway! haha i've been pretty active lately in the boards coz it's my way to lose the tension and stuff. talking to other people at least makes me think less of the problems that i have. this afternoon, red almost broke up with me. it was really sad. but at least clear thinking prevailed. hay.. having a long distance relationship is really hard work! but i know, in the end if this all works out, all the sacrifices would be well worth it. it's just so hard really, being apart and all, of course we'd want to spend every minute talking to each other, wishing that at that very moment we we're together, but unless someone acts, nothing would ever happen. that's what i was doing, acting on it. huhu o well so much for that. i don't want to dwell on anything sad huhu. had too much of that already.


well, now i'm thinking if i'm gonna put a list again. haha got pretty amused with it yesterday. oh well here goes nothing.. 



Thoughts and Feelings of the Copy Room Girl.


   - waking up at 8 in the morning (even thought i slept at 2 the previous evening..)just to do the usual garage sales is.. well worth it. why? coz instead of spending tons of money buying things that would probably cost about half 
of my salary, you could get those in garage sales (if you're patient in looking..) for less than a quarter of what you might have paid for it!
P.S. just be careful in cleaning those stuff before using them coz you don't know who used them beforehand. this morning, for instance, we went to a house selling extremely cheap stuff. know why? the owner just died. creepy...


   - posting replies on message boards with people who know you personally gives you a sense of belongingness. hahaha there at least when you post your feelings and stuff, you know that someone would agree/disagree/say nothing about what you just posted, which is nice. hehe got to talk to people i usually don't talk to.


   - giving away testimonials in frendster. (finally!) hehe.. after years of constant bugging from people for testimonials (testis) and the usual, cge cge ggawa ako, reply but never really gets into action, (haba ng statement na yan ah hehe!) i finally decided to give testis to people! haha started with 3 today namely nina (she gave me one today so just reciprocated!), jc martinez (haha random person, first one i found on the bulletin board!) and andres (hehe.. just wanted to make him one!). so around 300+ more to go? a daunting task haha. not sure if i'm gonna accomplish that. 
no well no harm in trying right?



   - this 'feeling' really bugs me. really it does. can't disclose it here. 
haha might cause a scandal. 


   - anger does not get you anywhere. nonsense does not get you anywhere. anger plus more 
anger will not get you anywhere. patience and hardwork? that will get you somewhere.


   - i bought my brother a birthday cake today. (even though his birthday is tomorrow!) haha and the decorations on it, spongebob and patrick, were much more expensive than the cake! hehe.. oh well, it's worth it i guess. haha this is the first time i actually gave something decent for his or any of their birthdays. haha and i bought floaters for my two other brothers too. the big, bulky ones. hehe paco was sulking a few weeks back that he wanted one and now i bought him not one, but two of those. hehe feels good actually to give and make others happy. now what to buy for myself?



well anyway, the list ends there. for this entry anyway. i'll think up of new things to blog about later haha. happy birthday yado. wee international buffet anyone?


tah- tah for now. cheers.

random thoughts.

see. i got my list ready. haha well..


f.y.i. 8 hours of staring blankly at countless sheets of paper leads to serious thinking. proven by me!


well, today i'm trying something new (for me..), a list! haha took inspiration from princess mia (read the whole series already.. well not the 7th coz the library's out.. anyway!) here goes..


                   
      

Random Thoughts of the Copy Room Girl.
 (a tag i've attached to myself)

• laptops. i was thinking what kind would be nice, what's my budget and something came back to my mind. haha an old conversation between me and kat. haha. brought a smile to my face hehehe.

                (not the exact words haha...)

            kat: gusto ko mgkalaptop! sana un bigay sakin grad gift or bday gift!

            diane: ako gusto ko ng apple!

            kat: humm, eh ung operating system nun hindi kasing ganda ng windows so on and so                      forth..

            diane: gusto ko yun kasi colorful! gusto ko color pink!

               *laughter*

              haha. My kakikayan showed. *blush*

• i thought of randomly texting/calling red on his cell. just to surprise him hehe.. and now when i got home i ordered a sim card already from ebay! hope it comes soon though. 
• i remembered something he said, which led to me thinking of bullet number two! he said before that, 

  he wished that even though i was here in the  states, it would have been really nice if it was as if i was just there.

   (one reason why he doesn't want me to work!) 
• how to budget/allocate/distribute my salary. yep just got my very FIRST paycheck today! woohoo! well i've told myself that i'm gonna buy another t.v. for us here. and a webcam. and a sim card. and a laptop. the list goes on and on.  
• what to give kat on her birthday. haha i've been thinking of this for the past few days! no spilling here, i know she's nearby! 
•  thinking of giving part of my salary to charity. yes hehe i told myself before that i'm going to do something for the philippines ex. working there, donating, etc. anyway, it crossed my mind today (after about a hindred pages.. hoo humm..) what about gawad kalinga? i could donate something like $30 or more every month. i don't know.. just want to help! 
• yey! they told me to stop scanning! we're going to do a different (and more easier, thank GOD!) method of filing the plans. but wait.. no scanning = nothing for me to do.. nothing for me to do = no MONEY!
• what to post on my blog. haha i planned this up to the little kinks! haha. 
• i got my first paycheck! woohoo! now what to buy? humm.. hahaha this question entered my mind and boy did it give me a headache! haha i've thought of a lot of things to buy but hello? do you think a car would fit the budget? 
• why i sometimes feel nothing. 

ok my list ends there. haha well hey, when i was thinking of my blog, i thought of stuff to post too so i'm not gonna spill in just one go! you know? haha, well here i tried of keeping it happy and jumpy. (i guess?)  haha no sad feelings there! i want to be happy. well for now. i can't escape him forever. i know i can't. hay... sad feelings coming back! sad attack!   haha new terms for me! oh, and while i was at it (scanning, i mean..) i thought of catching
up on the catch phrases haha. like when there was a time 'whenever' was so in.. hahaha then there was 'oh my gosh!' was the 
trend. well i'm thinking of something that only me would use. yeah i know, everyone knows me as 'wala lang..'(with the uber slow voice) hey that just came straight out! uber.
hehe o well, gotta research on words. i SO getting left behind.

tah-tah for now! (winnie the pooh..)