blog again.

haay i'm bored. i'm itching to talk-text red.. in other words, babaan nnaman ang pride ko, YET AGAIN, para mgbati kami. pero ewan ko ba what he doesn't understand eh. para sakin, there is nothing wrong with having guy friends. pero sa kanya, ayaw nya. sa kanya, he sees na nanlalandi na daw ako, na may boyfriend na nga ako nghahanap pa akong iba, na boyfriend na nga ng bestfriend mo aagawin mo pa. parang.. HELO?! OK KA LANG?! grrrrrr. wala lang, this has been a never ending issue. ngalit xa dati na ngeemail kami ni nikole di anong gnawa kong para hindi na xa mgalit? hindi ko na ineemail si nikole. haay. lam nyo snsabi nya kpag nkkwento ko na may nkausap ako.. "hindi ka ba makuntento? bat ang dami mong hinahanap?" grrrr. nghhanap lang naman akong kaibigan ah! porket xa wlang mga kaibigan hindi naman ako ganun. eh kasi nman xa, may barkada naman un dun eh. kahit di nya nakkasama parati, at least andun lang un. eh ako? seryoso, wala akong kaibigan dito. AS IN. and know whats holding me back? para andito lang ako, walang mga labas labas para mkausap kami ni red. haay. saya ko noh. SAYA.

i had a dream..

wala lang share ko lang. hehe prang lungkot naman.


ano daw kasi.. di prang excited daw ako tatawag ako kay kat first time daw ever since nung umalis ako. tapos un tawag ako sa cell nya. eh diba kapag international calls, prang unknown number sa cellphone. di un. tapos sumagot si kat. tapos ang bati daw.. bsta hindi ako. jaurel daw haha. so binaba ko nlang. sad.

hahaha. wala lang share..>.< sad padin. wala. di ko pa nkkausap si red. xmas na halos. haay. wala akong mkausap. kaya... hello internet. hello tv. helo dvd. hehe wala lang, di ko na nggamit laway ko nga. ever. grrr.

Merry Christmas everyone.

whatever nalang haha.

haay. i am really not in the mood. wait. hindi ba yan opening sentence ko din the last post? haha. wala kita nyo na, wala tlaga haha it's been in my head na for days. i'm not online sa ragnarok. galing nga noh i didn't go to work, di din pla ako mgoonline. wala lang. hindi kami mgkasundo ni red. oohh joy. malandi daw ako eh. haha. saya. oh well.. WHATEVER.


i don't know where this "whatever" attitude came up. haay haay. and i know it's not good. wala lang, it's my way of brushing off kng msaktan ako, yoko mgpaaffect. kaya, whatever. haay. hindi ako pnapansin? ok cge whatever attitude ulit haha. it does work.. in a way. haay.


i had a dream kanina, forgot what it was about. oh right i remember na. ewan ko kng sino ksama ko bsta ngddrive daw, tapos npadaan kaming dasma village. cguro taga-CSA pa ko nun. anyway, sbi ko, dyan skul ko! tapos nglakad daw kami papasok.. ung ksama ko na not from there pinapasok. tapos ako, ang sabi, hindi na daw ako student dun. prang ano?! eto nga ID ko oh. tapos tingnan nung guard. may tiningnan sa listahan. pinunit. ouch. sabi ko waa anong problema. sabi nya, hindi ka na nga studyante dito. di pmasok na daw ako. nkita ko si ms pagtakhan. tapos tinanong ko, miss bat hindi na ako student daw sabi nung guard. ang sabi ni miss, iddrop na daw ako kasi hindi ako ngaattend ng school. prang ako ano?! tapos un iyak daw ako ng iyak ng iyak.
wala lang weird hehe. whatever.


haay i hate pride lam mo un. i hate it but i can't run away from it. why is it na ako ung nghhintay na pansinin ako ni kat? hehe bat hindi ako ung mgkusa kasi ako nman ung may gustong mkausap xa? oh well.. pride ang tawag dun. blah. i not mad at anybody don't get me wrong. it's just un nga haha nghhintay lang mpansin. hehe. sabi nga ni red kpag cguro ngganito ako, tumigil ka na nga sa arte mo. hehe maarte ako.

haay, i really miss..

hehe i just got off talking with red.. addict mode kami kasi hehe 3x eh which doesn't happen often. ang galing nga eh, when i slept 76 lang ako hehe pggising ko 80 na.^_^ anyway, wala lang.. even if mtagal na kami and all, i still feel the love.. lam mo un, alam ko na ung mga nrramdaman nya hehe. minsan, we say the same things.. true nga cguro ung telepathy hehe. i wish it was, so that he would know how much he means to me. lam mo un knina nga nung ngbbye na kami, wala i can't help but reminisce and be sad. sabi ko sa knya, lam mo beb sanay na akong sa isang side parati ng bed nkahiga hehe.. kasi when we embrace at mglakad, ganun.. bsta hehe long story. it's not obvious na miss ko xa noh? hehe wala lang, i really do, honestly.

i miss kat too.. i haven't been talking to her lately hehe wonder why? wala lang sometimes, ngoonline ako sa ym, and if you know me, that doesn't happen pretty often hehe. wala lang, just to see if she would notice. pero.. haha it's okay i guess... no big deal... hehe minsan i think, haay i miss the times when we were both boyfriend-less hehe. nung we weren't concerned about how we looked and nung wala, masaya hehe. sometimes i wonder, would kat still be the old running about, pinching and shrieking girl i knew from before? humm.. i don't know hehe. pero sabi nga ni kat, people change. maybe she still is that girl, except in high heels hehe.

BLAH.

i am not in the mood to blog lately. i don't know>.< yes i still work.. shet i got home almost 9 na today, ngencode ako ng mga codes for the new software ng company. o diba haha kala mo bigtime na noh haha wala i still get paid the same.

well as i said nga.. i haven't been in the mood lately.. ragnarok aus lang kasi red's there hehe. pero in any other way, hindi eh. uhmm.. ragnarok.. mayaman na kami medyo hehe. ang sweet hehe i thought red was only hunting for one crunch toast haha. i didn't even know what it was for eh.. tapos aww he made two para pareho kaming meron.^_^ hahaha ang cute nga namin astig hehe. pareho kaming nkalion hat and crunch toast^__^ hehe.^_^ grr maintenance pa.. after maintenance yes! 3x exp! haha. haay i'm pretty beat na. tired. but still, i'll wait for red hehe. i love him so much. miss him..

i passed?

hahaha. this is a very unappropriate time to blog.. nkatowel lang ako haha. yet i still blog. hehe i just checked kasi online for my grades and ung knakatakutan ko didn't happen nman pala.^_^ weee. kasi.. i forgot to submit one homework essay sa humanities and i'm scared na baka bumaba ung grade ko.. pero. aus na din.^_^ i got almost-straight Bs. hahahaha. cge na panget na B lang.. pero look on the bright side, edi unique ako wahahahah! mga kapatid kong smartypants straight As. di ako straight Bs o san ka pa hahaha.

eto grades ko..

anatomy and physiology I = B
humanities = B
intermediate algebra = A. hahahahaha.
psychology = B
composition I = B

i'm happy with it na.^_^ next semester nlang, bawi! /gg

red and i just got off from playing ragnarok.. and know what i plan to give him this xmas? haha. LOAD. haha prang ang impersonal noh? pero practical naman eh. well kasi, red only gets 150-200 pesos baon everyday. sorry na pero hard times eh. eh minus food and transpo pa dun. tapos ung natira, divide that between internet load, ragna load, cellphone load, and the occasional computer shop fees. huhu. so in a way, i'll take out the ragna load na hehe. bbili ako nung 500 peso load equivalent to 2 months oh dba di solve na xa.^_^ not everyone gets the chance to have money to spare kaya i'm just sharing diba. hahahha. saka conjugal property naman eh!^__^ wala lang sometimes i feel guilty too.. i get to buy whatever i want, pero xa hindi nga minsan kmkain just for us to talk. haay. i'm really lucky for red.. he loves me soo much.^_^ and i know that.^^ ang confident ko noh? pero that's how i feel.. i feel the love.^_^

shoot! shet.

grrrrrrrr know what time it is? yes it's 3:30 in the morning and you know what i've been up to? no, it's not studying. shit. sheett!!!!!!! i'm addicted again! argh! and it's all thanks to youtube! i love to hate you! grrrrrr!!!!!!!! i found the complete series of Full House. shet. and since i didn't get to really understand the story.. i only started watching before in the latter end na so jumbled ang idea ko of the story. shet. why now! finals week!!!!!!!!! shet. i hate it. i know, i'm bitten. i'm addicted. shet.


ahaha and instead of sleeping noh i blog about it? WHAT KIND OF PERSON AM I?!?! !

koreanovela fancy!

haha. kat reminded me of koreanovelas so i thought of looking for the songs i love haha.


FULLHOUSE
here's one with the koreans actors themselves hehe.. jessie and justin haha. i like jessie.^__^ they look so sweet.^^





STAINED GLASS
this isn't stained glass koreans i don't know who they are but this is the best i could find. there are those with eric santos singing, but what the heck.. i'd rather have these koreans.^_^ no pun intended hehe. uhmm.. mas uhmm, heartfelt? hahahaha. anyway. watch.





MEMORIES OF BALI
this is the funniest-WEIRDEST ending EVER. wahahahahha can't help but laugh at this once again!! we waited so long for this and poof! they became.. koko crunch! wahahahah.

missing.

haha. i just got home from school.. another test. oh well, it was algebra anyway so, no biggie. and we stopped by the gas station where i always buy hot choco and yum yum hehe am drinking it now.^^ haay.. cold weather, hot choco in tow, loungy bed, haay hehe there's just one piece missing-- RED.

i miss his hugs and his kisses, hahaha i even miss him pinching me till i get marks! i just miss being with him.
i miss it when he wouldn't be ashamed of holding my hand, putting his arms around me even with all the people around us..
i miss it when he'd wipe my pawis away with his hanky after we cross a busy road.. i miss it when he'd bring my things and act gay-ish hehe..
i miss it when we'd share that same hanky, as he's the clean one and i'm not hehe, he always has one..
i miss it when even though he's all sweaty and i have colds, he'd give that hanky to me first and let me blow my nose.. hehehe..
i miss his smell.. huhu..
i miss the carpet..
i miss it when we're at his house and his mom would want us to stay longer and she would tease him, when he would act annoyed with his mom and whisk me away hehe..
i miss it when he's not ashamed to cry when he feels bad, and make me cry as well..
i miss it when he'd smuggle texts even though he was still answering calls back when he was working..
i miss it when he'd tickle me, hehe until i'd pinch him to stop.. i miss it when we would just cuddle and watch tv..
i miss the times when we'd sneak out, and laugh at how we didn't get caught..
i miss the times when we'd spend almost all our money playing arcade games.. especially the house of the dead.. we had so much fun..
i miss it when he'd show me new things.. introduce me to things i haven't experienced before.. like making me eat different street foods and how he was so proud coz he wanted to make me taste what he has tasted before..
i miss it when we would walk home at night.. i miss it when we look up to the sky and trace the stars.. huhuhu.. i really miss this..
i miss it when huhuhu.. that last one made me tear up..T_T
i miss the times when it was summer last year.. huhu.. i miss it.. i miss it when we went to the park and he would tickle me so much that i was almost touching the ground.. he kept on tickling but he wouldn't let me fall..
i miss the time when he made me uto-uto.. haha he does that a lot.. one time he made me roll on the ground.. ground as in a football field, and also the floor.. but the uto-uto that i am, still followed hehe..
i miss it when, with one call, telling him to come because my dad just left.. he'd drop everything and go.. huhuhu..
i miss it all.. huhu.. i was so wrapped in his love.. and i didn't even notice it huhu. i know i've hurt him so much with me leaving him.. sometimes i feel his sadness when we chat.. i feel that sometimes he crys.. haay.. sometimes he would tell me.. "beb uwi ka na huhuhu..." and all i can do is to comfort him.. to make him feel better. haay i love him so much..

i've noticed that my past few posts have all been about red and i.. haha wala lang. nothing really interesting happens here. or would you want to hear about me cramming all morning to finish my homework? thought so haha. anyway.. i like blogging^_^ this is like.. a journal online.*well it is..* i used to have one where i write to red everyday.. it's still here.. but i've ceased to write in it. haha. i don't like to write in there anymore, well if you take out those i've written before. i started it when i boarded the airport to here.. it was when i couldn't call him and i was trying SO HARD. i was bawling in there but i didn't care.. i wanted to here him.. i was so frantic.. i couldn't call his house.. i couldn't reach his cell.. he didn't respond to my messages.. it was one of the low points of my life.. really. haha i don't ever want to recall that day. but still i am hehe. kat can attest to that.. as she was the last person i got to talk to before leaving. haha i was trying so hard not to cry on the phone.. i know i was. i had that high pitched voice and i was trying so hard not to cry. even though people started to stare. i didn't care. i was just so frantic. haay. i've been so sad then, and red too said that that day was first day in his life that he cried so hard. i couldn't imagine it. haay. i want to stop now.. i don't want to cry any longer. we're happy and this is just a way of recalling, of keeping that memory alive.^^ i know red will be a part of me forever.. whether we spend it together or not.. but hopefully naman diba?^^ haay.^__^ i don't know what i did to deserve this. all these trials, sadness, joy, fear.. all these emotions rolled into one. but then, i'd go through it all again, as long i have red by my side.^__^ i love you mahal...

happy, happy.^__^

well, it's been a long time since i've been truly happy.^_^ and i can say, this weekend has been, i don't know.. happier.^_^ hehe i've just said my goodbyes to red sa thor.. and it's like 10:40 in the morning there! break nya kasi from his first class and he ran to a computer shop to chat with me.^_^ hehehe xempre, who wouldn't feel good gawin ba naman sau un noh?^_^ hehe. i'm floating right now hehe, i'm happy.^_^ i don't want to look at other people's stuff nlang because, that's theirs. WE HAVE OUR OWN LIVES, and we're happy just as we are.^_^ anyway, a day to go till our 22nd monthsary.^_^ hehe i've mentioned this to red the other day and he too can't imagine na, wow ang tagal na natin.>.< we were like both, wooooww. hahahha! wala lang, that number seems short and long in a number of ways. short kasi, ang dami na naming npagdaanan na trials and fights and lambings tapos, ganun lang pala?? haha we've been through soo much, i mean SO MUCH, in our relationship.^_^ and to think, wala pa kayong two years?! hahaha.

long naman kasi.. helo 22 months?! it's kind of, rare to have something that long for our age.^_^ and as young as we are, ganito na kami ka-committed.^_^ this is really, rare.^_^ hehehe para na nga kaming mgasawa eh hahaha! just without the papers, and the blessing, and the children, and being with each other.. but who cares diba?^_^ i just love my beb.^_^

maybe my happiness can be connected na din with the luck we had in-game.^^ yeah, we get tired of it once in a while pero helo.. haha we got a rainfall this time!^__^ this weekend we got these stuff:

a. me- skel worker card. when i thought leveling up can't get any.. "better", aha! hehe luck!^_^

b. red- army hat from an OBB. which made me want to go and bust out the OBBs myself! baka swertehin eh hahaha!

c. red (again)- just today, got two pupa cards in less than an hour!! haha!! it was sheer luck! 2m each daw isa nun eh!! woohoo! i'm gonna get better clothing now! weehee!

d. well cge both of us na pero most of it was red- red has this BRILLIANT idea hahahah. i don't know where he heard of this or what, pero he had this plan./gg he made dozens of novices and each one did the tom yum goong quest! each thing/pot was worth 5k eh we made a merchant so more than 6k each. eh multiply that by let's say, 300 tom yum goongs?? weee nka-2m din kami!^__^ hahah at first i was all grumpy pa about it. i didn't understand eh! i thought i vvend nya which i thought was not good. so un sunod sunod lang ako haha. and in the end, ako pa ngssabi, gawin natin parati!!!^__^ hahahaha.

e. hehe one thing that also made me happy/laugh/something din in game was when i bought red a bucket hat! hahahaha. wala lang i saw that it was cheap eh and it looked like ung hat nya before nung myaman pa xa sa chaos hehe. anyway, so i bought it haha. sabi ko gift ko sa knya.^_^ aww.. well it's not a big thing but wala lang masaya hehe^__^. tapos ngaun lang, he gave me a ribbon. hahaha wala lang, suot ko din hehe.^_^

it's funny really how this game *ragnarok* can bring people together.^_^ I CAN'T BELIEVE I MET THIS GUY I LOVE IN THERE. haay. love moves in mysterious ways.^^ hehe. he can make me laugh out loud even though i can't hear his voice.^__^ you should hear me!! haha. i'm going crazy na.. i haven't felt happy in a long time.^_^ blooming kaya ako?^_^ hahahha. thank you ragnarok. you are heaven sent to us.^__^ you've brought two people searching for true love together. you've brought US together.^__^


i remember red and i would say this to each other before.. for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, till death do us part.. i love you.

awww..

wala lang. i was so excited to get into thor and spend a little more time with red. pero hindi nman ako mkapasok. kung kelan wala silang pasok. haay. parati nlang ang malas namin. as if hindi kami pingtatagpo. there was this one time pa, nghhintayan kami hehe ang weird. he was texting me pala, pero ung messages lahat bumagsak nung wala na, tapos na break ko. how unfortunate. grr.

i haven't been myself lately. feeling all down and i don't know.. anyway, 5 more days and red and i will be having our 22nd monthsary na hehe. sometimes i wonder, wow ang tagal na pala namin.. time seems to be flying so fast. haay we've been through so much already.. so many emotions have passed between us. anger, depression, loss, sadness, commitment, love.. so much love. it's hard to imagine that all of these happened during a span of less than two years. hehe. i want to fall all over for a thousand times. i miss my beb.. my babuy. hehe i know i can't be all lovey-dovey to him kasi, ayaw nya daw. he just becomes sad. so eto. i'll be lovey-dovey to him without him knowing about it. i'll be his babuy forever.. he'll be my babuy. that's what i'll call him even though he doesn't like it. hehe. i'll be rebelliously in love. i don't care hehe. i need to love and be loved in return. i love my beb..

mgtetelebabad ako sa knya./gg my dad has those cards at home na ewan ko kng gngamit so kkupit akong isa haha. or two? or three? haha bahala na! i'm just waiting for that time when i will be able to hear his voice again. the last time i talked to him was.. on his birthday. october 1. haay hehe i wish na mas mdalas kaming nkkapagusap. his yahoo voice doesn't work so out of the options na un. hehe snabi ko sa knya na sana he would call me naman, or write to me.. but he hasn't done so. anyway, hehe i don't want any gifts or what, i just want a letter. that's what i've been telling him dati pa.. na sana he would write naman. before i wrote to him often. pero ngaun, prang wala lang, not that i don't want to anymore, it's just prang di nman narereciprocate ung gngawa mo eh.. oh well. cge ssulat ako kasi mtagal na akong hindi ngssulat eh hehe. for christmas.^_^

eto na ang end ng rambling post na toh. wala lang. red didn't go online in ym. haay. sad. oh well.. next time cguro.. next time.. next time.. next time.. next time.. next time.. haay.

here's the damage.

ok, we just got home from shopping.>.<>.<) haha kasi nung una, i was leaning away.. mali kasi ung akala kong prices eh. un pala whoa! i should have bought more hehe. it was fun hehe.. my mom and i were laughing nung sa cash register na haha.. kasi we couldn't believe na ang dami naming nabili and un lang ung total ahha! my mom bought maybe more or less 20 items.. which included rubber shoes for yado, black shoes for enzo, 2 pairs of shoes for her, and a lot of clothes for them>.<>.< well, that may seem, "whoa!" na hehe pero take note, 20 items noh! hahaha..

ako naman.. i bought... 3 pairs of shoes, jeans, capris, hoop earrings (haha try ko lang first time hehe..), and a shirt(grr i should have bought more>.<). everything for 30 dollars..^_^ aus na noh hehehe..

anyway, i just wanted to report hehe. wala lang, shopping does make me feel better.^_^ hehe lalu na ung alam mong bargain at nkasave hehe mas mgandang feeling hehe. anyway, aun gising na si red.. ngtext na xa.. once plang. he only texts me once a day nlang.. oh well, i shouldn't complain.

oo nga pala, nguupload akong pics sa multiply ko hehe ung mga sa circus and stuff so check nyo nlnag hehe. sana maupload ko na coz third time ko na unulit and in some way, ngsstop. soo hehe wish me luck.

i'm still a nervous wreck/unromanced/unhappy person hahahaa. but shopping made me feel better if only for a few hours.^_^

New Post.

i couldn't think of anything to title this post kaya un nlang hehe. anyway.. long weekend na i'm beat. pero eto momy ko nkakita ng sale pa sa draryo soo.. shopping ulit>.<>.< anyway, last night, when we got home from lakeland, 3 hours away, aun nkalaro pa kami ni red. red can be the most un-romantic person in the world, which makes me sad kasi i love romance hehe, pero kgabi he said something na at least nkamelt ng puso ku hehe..


diane: *singing* hindi ka ba napapagod.. hindi ka ba nagsasawa.. sa ating mga tampuhan, wlang hangang ktapusan..

red: hindi

diane: anong hindi?? (not getting it yet)

red: hehe wala lang..

diane: *realizes* ahhh!! hehehe thanks beb...^___^


haay hehe that was one good part of it. anyway, ala lang, i get envious of those couples who don't think of the cost, the game, or whatever, ung isa't isa lang. haay hehe i got dissapointed kasi, sabi ni red.. nung ngbbye na kami, he'll text me, di un mdyo eexpect ako na pgkagising ko, may text sana. pero wala.. hehe ang sbi nya, hehe sayang eh.. hhintayin ko nlang kpag gising ka. aww.. in a way aus padin, he waited for me to really read it, pero sana iba padin un.

i feel really un-romanced lately haha. and sad, and lonely. pero oh well.. i have to be thankful padin in a way. i have someone whose still there, despite being really out of funds, despite the distance, despite the un-romancing attitude, and despite all the heartaches, trials, and everything. i shouldn't ask for more.. or should i?

Nakapagtataka.

Walang tigil ang gulo sa aking pag-iisip
mula ng tayo’y nagpasyang maghiwalay
nagpaalam pagkat hindi tayo bagay
nakapagtataka, ooh-wooh

Kung bakit ganito ang aking kapalaran
di ba ilang ulit ka ng nagpaalam bawat paalam ay puno ng iyakan
nakapagtataka, nakapagtataka

[refrain]
Hindi ka ba napapagod
o di kaya’y nagsasawa
sa ating mga tampuhan walang hanggang katapusan
napahid nang mga luha
damdamin at puso’y tigang
wala ng maibubuga
wala na akong maramdaman
kung tunay tayong nagmamahalan
ba’t di tayo magkasunduan, ooh.. oohh

Walang tigil ang ulan at nasaan ang araw
napa’no nang pag-ibig sa isa’t-isa
wala na bang nananatiling pag-asa
nakapagtataka, saan na napunta?

Hindi ka ba napapagod
o di kaya’y nagsasawa
sa ating mga tampuhan walang hanggang katapusan
napahid nang mga luha
damdamin at puso’y tigang
wala ng maibubuga
wala na akong maramdaman
kung tunay tayong nagmamahalan
ba’t di tayo magkasunduan, ooh.. oohh

Walang tigil ang ulan at nasaan ang araw
napa’no nang pag-ibig sa isa’t-isa
wala na bang nananatiling pag-asa
nakapagtataka, nakapagtataka

Hindi ka ba napapagod
o di kaya’y nagsasawa
sa ating mga tampuhan walang hanggang katapusan
napahid nang mga luha
damdamin at puso’y tigang
wala ng maibubuga
wala na akong maramdaman
napahid nang mga luha
damdamin at puso’y tigang
wala ng maibubuga
wala na, wala na akong maramdaman
kung tunay tayong nagmamahalan ba't di tayo magkasunduan

happy thanksgiving.

.. although for me, there's nothing really to thank/celebrate for. i'm terribly sad. but i don't show it haha. i don't want others affected with what i feel, not that i have that many i could confide in. i'm freely going to lakeland na, sa relatives namin for this weekend. bahala na what happens. haay i haven't texted red yet.. since this morning. paninindigan ko tlaga if that's what he wants. playing thor has not brought any good to our relationship. don't know why. haay.. i'll just go and eat leftover turkey. haha just posted, JUST BECAUSE. i'm terribly person-sick hehe. oh well.. di nga ako pmunta sa dun sa thanksgiving dinner dun ke tita lorreto.. didn't want to anyway. ala lang, maybe may text or something eh. oh well. i'm have ham and turkey.. good. maybe tomorrow will cheer me up haha. SALE. something to take my mind off the problem haha!!

i'm level 55 na in thor.. thanks to red hehe. the leveled more than half of that. thanks thanks. as if nman mbbasa nya haha. msama loob ko. here's an excerpt(>.<) from our altercation kanina.


diane: ano gusto mo kpag pmunta ako dyan itatali mo ko?
red: hindi. i'm not expecting naman anything from you.. i'm not expecting na ppunta ka.
diane: ah ganun pala o sige don't expect anything!!

wala.. it hurts.


P.S. to people out there reading this blog.. you know who you are.. pede favor?? can you just not mention this to me? i mean, don't make me feel better or worse or whatever. it's not that i don't appreciate the kindness and support, it's just that i don't want to talk anything about it. not now. i have a lot on my mind now.. thanks to me not talking all day. hahahah.


thank you, thank you for reading/commenting my posts. it's just nice when you here other people's thoughts on what you think. hehe dati kasi prang all i had to talk to was.. my head. hehe mga tanong ko and thoughts, utak/heart ko ngdedeliberate at sumasagot. it's just.. sad. it's sad to be alone talaga. i wish no one else feels like this. it's even sadder when you go online, wishing, hoping, PLEADING na sana andun ung ibang tao, and all you get is.. more sadness. this is where i pour out. this is my journal.


KUYA JAUREL, gmawa ka na ng blogger account mo nlang hehe. so that, i could make this my private blog.. just as ung ke kat. haha i just opened this kasi kat can't get into my blog dati. now i bet kat can get in.. right kat?? i mean, para kau lang ni kat nkkabasa hehe.

till here muna. am planning on sleeping early tonight.. i have to wake up early tomorrow. the stores open early.. about 5 am haha. unahan kasi sa mga stuff eh. well, wish me luck waking up! ahahhaa. basta final na.. SONY CYBERSHOT DSC-W50. haha i won't change my mind na.. hehe ang gulo ko kasi eh! anyway, I'LL DROWN MYSELF IN FOOD AND COKE NALANG! WISH ME LUCK!! TURKEY AND HAM, MAGTAGO NA KAYO!!!

o cge ha.

dadrama-drama ka hindi mo nman kayang panindigan.





cge pwes.. di mo ko mrrinig hngang mgsorry ka. sorry na ha, cge oo di ko nga kayang panindigan.. sorry chncheck kita eh. o cge paninindigan ko hngang kaya ko. bahala ka.

4 day weekend woohoo.

it's officially the start of the thanksgiving holiday and boy, prang xmas dito ang atmosphere. anyway.. i am a bit troubled. why? kasi.. yes 4 day weekend nga PERO.. eto ang schedule..


Thursday: Lunch- dito with sila tito Ruben.. thanksgiving lunch daw..
Dinner- dun sa isang friend na AYOKONG puntahan kasi un ung ayoko na babae. (for info, scroll down lets say a couple of posts.. as in a COUPLE. name nya, tita loretto. eww.)

Friday: Morning- sale nga to buy my camera and other stuff.
Afternoon- most likely ppunta sa doctor for my knee. grr.

Saturday-Sunday: momy ko balak pmunta sa relatives namin, 3 hours away, para wla lang. haven't seen them in.. months.


SO.. what is the problem you might ask? EVERYTHING. haay. this is the time to spend time with red eh, kahit online lang nga, but still spend some time. pero, jammed packed. prang ayoko na nga pmunta dun sa saturday sunday pero nkkahiya nman sa relatives namin.. shet naman naiiyak ako eh. i need to give him time too..T_T huhuhu. i miss him so much eh eto na nga ung chance, and still i can't.. give that to him!! huhuhu. what kind of girlfrend am i? huhuhu. am i selfish? huhuhu..

it's warming to see new love blossom before your eyes/screen. hehe. which makes me long for my beb more. huhu. which makes me see things na.. aww sana ganyan din kami. i know that is wrong. what they have is theirs.. we have our own. wala lang. i'd love to be treated as a girl for once again hehe. i mean.. ung mga lovey-doveys and kiligs.. ung prang ligaw ligaw ulit hehe! oh well.. we have each other.^_^

diane is in.. SHOPPING MODE.

haha. i'm not really a shopaholic.. or a "material" girl. but this time, waaa!! there's just so many choices. this is the biggest sale of the year they say. BLACK FRIDAY. the day after thanksgiving. shet i am going gaga. grrr!! i WAS settled with the sony i picked na pero, as i saw some of the flyers in the mail, grr. there was the casio elixim, a 6mp digicam, and it was like 150 dollars!!! grrr! xempre i'd love to have a bargain noh. i'm just really waiting for the circuit city or target or some other techie store to bring out their ads and waiting for that SONY. shheeezz! and! i am buying na xmas gifts for family then, kasi din nman helo? why waste money on one thing eh eto na nga lower prices?? haha. so ano sa inyong tingin? PS2 pra sa mga kpatid ko.. or 2-screen dvd player for the car? natturn-off na ako with buying the dvd player kasi most of the reviews i read are not good so hohumm ako. OR.. i could just buy them individual gifts. pede din haha. OH MY GOD, I'M STUFF CRAZY!!

on the other hand naman.. leaning away from the material world (Jesus forgive me.. connect?) knina sa composition class grr!!! we could have gotten 5 additional points sa final!! but it was my fault!! grrr. anyway.. haha had fun anyway, A FIRST. haha. shet kasi grr.. prang ung highest group na mkascore sa comma game gets un nga, 5 points. grrr!! and our group was like, IN THERE! one point lang ung lamang eh! huhu and if it weren't for that question i got wrong. oh well... haha i answered most of it soo.. good job me!

a diane blog is not complete without the mention of my buchukuy red.^_^ haha. kanina i thought na hindi na xa mkkapagonline, kasi anong oras na nun noh, past 12 in the philippines. and he was there.^_^ anyway, he was installing games daw dun sa shop ng frend nya.. (fyi. *kay kat* ang shop ng kaberks ni red/san xa tambay ay 2 shops away lang sa shop na nsa kanto ng street nyo. un lang.^_^) and he was waiting for me.^_^ anyway, pasalamat na din ako dun sa friend nya, kung nbbasa man nya itesh, THANK YOU DUDE TOL. hehe eh kasi since inaaus ni red ung mga comp dun, libre laro si red.^_^ so anytime nkkalaro si red.^_^ ako nman sagot ko internet card nya haha. so ragna load nlang at cell load ang sagot nya.^^ in a way nsisiyahan akong mkatulong.^_^ it's my way na din of repaying what he did dati.^^ dati ba alam nyo ate at kuya, si red bumibili ng load ko nung start plang kami..T_T i mean, eh baon ko lang nman is 100 per day eh alam nyo nman kming mttakaw, MATAKAW, kaya buti na kng my more than 50 na msave. eh kpag naubus na ung load, UBUS NA. eh xempre, being the new couple that we once were, we wanted to talk nonstop. kaya un.. huhu kahit gabi na, he would go out of his way para bilhan ako ng load.. 100 prati. almost every night. huhu. now it's my turn.^_^ i'll support him.. as he supports me.^_^ i love our relationship, i love my beb.^_^

eto at ako ay nsa kadulu-duluhan na ng aking pgkkwento, haha. ngstart as english na english, ngend ng tagalog. haha. ako ay ngau'y mgaaral sa isa sa pinakaayaw kong subject, ANATOMY. ayoko isipin mga nervous systemness ko noh!! humph! oh well no choice. kelangan mgaral. ang panget!

katrina mycah faicol ferrer!! kung ikaw ay binasa, ngbasa, ngbabasa o babasahin plang eto.. ako ay may mlaking pasalamat at hiling!! malaking malaking salamat!!! salamat sa load sa ragnarok na thor!! eto naman ang aking hiling/request/tanong..

diane: *beautiful eyes, beautiful eyes..* pede akong mgpabili ng ragnarok online load please pwede?? *beautiful eyes, beautiful eyes..* hahahahhahaha!!!

freezing and i don't know.. FREEZING?!

grrr. it's freezing here. talaga. the temperature, average temp for today is in the 10 degrees celsius, more or less. let's just say, kung ung dati, in high school, na nllamigan na at the 18-degree mark, eh pano nman toh noh? my joints are hurting na. humm... should i buy gloves?? hehehe. over nman ata because i don't see other people wearing gloves.. anyway, i think the cold is the cause of my throwing up kgabi. i threw up everything i ate, crispy pata and all, for the whole day. three times ako sumuka!! i am not liking this cold weather.. NO.

anyway, have yet to hear from red.. since my CHIKKA is unwantedly broken. grrr!! just when things were heating up again.. poof! grrr. anyone out there who could help me fix chikka?? haha. ngpaparinig../gg. red and me are.. GOOD *with a big grin on my face.^_^* wala lang, forget about the past stuff, we are about the now. haay.. i don't know why i'm reacting/feeling this way, it must be because ang tagal na naming di nguusap and talking to him has had such a welcoming feeling. humph.. pero xempre lalake, you know, so un.. expecting lambings and all pero, wala msyado. but i'm happy with that.^_^ i got to talk to him and that's what matters.<3

woohoo! roughly 6 months to go until i go home! it's awefully a long time pero, think positive nlang so.. 6 months nalang!! woohoo! /gg. haay, it's nearing the thanksgiving holiday na and wala lang, i'm not excited about the turkey, or the 4day break. know what i'm excited about?? I'M BUYING MY DIGITAL CAMERA!!! woohooo! thanksgiving daw according to my mom has the biggest sales of the year kaya haha ihahanda ko na ang aking wallet noh! haahah! anyway, i will settle for the sony cybershot 6mp.. (i think DSC-W50.) but then i'm having reservations kung 7mp nlang. grr!! i want!! pero yesterday, when we went to target.. saw the 6mp model and it was.. SWHEET!! waw ang thin haha. pero pero.. my mom said na olympus daw is a better brand, known for their cameras.. SOO help ulit.><

i'm stopping here.. haha will play ragnarok and hopefully, if red hasn't played it last night, reach level 40 or even 50!! i love red! haha.

it's freezing cold here.

it's freezing cold here, colder than the aircon turned on. anyway, i was bluer than blue since yesterday, but NHOMORE! hehe. anyway, forget about that, i just won't call red babuy anymore. so much for that lambing nickname. i'll just have to make up another for my.. tabachingching!^_^ hehehe.. anyway, we just came back from our tito and tita's unit just in the same apartment complex.. they bought the pay-per-view pacquiao vs. morales and filipinos are there. anyway, i'd love to stay and watch.. but you know the atmosphere.. hard drinks, drunken men.. scary. AND, i promised red, na, when he wakes up and goes online, i'm there. so here i am, extra early so that i'm here.^_^

i'm planning to watch the da vinci code WHILE playing ragnarok.. benefits of a laptop haha.^_^ although i was so sad and down yesterday and this afternoon, crying even, forget it nlang. it's already past. time for the now.^_^ oohh haha i'm here in the sala watching the da vinci code.. watched it yesterday and it was great.^_^ haha i'm collecting dvds now.. original ha. wlang pirated dito soo.. un hehe, the last count, 14 dvds na.. targeting for at least 20 by the year's end.^_^

congrats kuya jau and kat.. happy for you both.^_^ hehe one month nlang kita na kau oh hehe. buti pa kau.. but then i still hold myself lucky padin.. even though, you know, others may be.. luckier. i have my beb, even though we have so many trials, differences and hardships, we can get through this.. i know we will.

anyway ok hehe.. i'm off to play now. haha i have a goal! level 30 at least and reach 1 million zenies in red's character.^_^ i'm hunting for a card.. well after i reach level 30..^_^

afi' dazee..

nice to clear that out.

i got to talk to kat today/tonight and got to clear up some issues.. nice to have that out.^_^ anyway, hehe kita mo nga were talking right now oh hehe.. nice to get to talk to somebody.^_^

anyway.. i got surprised today while i was browsing through friendster. one of my cousins, no mention of the name nlang, who is barely a year older than me, is already a father. i was so shocked. i wouldn't want to post the pic of them here nlang because it's disrespectful pero i was just shocked. he is a father already. i never knew. i can't even think straight! waaa i don't know now.. why is it that it's like acceptable already? i don't know. i'd love to have a baby now hehe.. pero in reality, i'm still thinking of my future noh. i can't support it, can't feed it with just my own money. i will not sacrifice the quality of life i want my child to grow in just because. haay. i am feeling mixed emotions too. un nga, shock.. disbelief.. and he's only a year ahead of me! the baby it seems pa looks like he's almost a year old soo.. does that mean, he made the baby at 17.. arrived at 18.. and now? unimaginable. i can't imagine myself like that. i want a certain future, something which i could be proud of. pero diba nga, i remember before, i was saying, gusto ko ung mgging anak ko prang barkada ko lang. ung gusto nya gusto ko din, share ng secrets, ung anak ko will treat me as his/her bestfrend. i never got to share my secrets with my mom. i nver was comfortable telling my mom what i felt really. i want to be the perfect mother to my future kid. i know i won't be able to provide that if i were still studying.. still growing myself. i want to be able to teach him what is right and what is wrong, which i can't say when i too am still figuring that out. i am too young to be a mother. but when that time comes, i will be the best mother i could be.^_^

red and i are okay now. i hope. i still have certain reservations about it, but, i'm setting my pride aside. if he is not telling the truth.. well, be it on his conscience.^_^ between him and the internet, i'd choose him anyday.^_^

i forgive, yet again.

it's funny what love does tlaga. haay. i love red so much that i could be so hurt one minute and forgiving him the next. haay. he said that he didn't go online daw last night.. HE WAS SLEEPING. uhmm i'd love to say.. "riggghhhttt..." pero if that's what he says, kahit na gano ako kahurt, fine cge sabi mo eh. i trust you. haay kung ngssinungaling xa sakin, be it on his conscience. i am showing myself, laying everything on the line. haay. put down the pride once again, if i still have one. haay. maybe it was just frendster na mtagal mgupdate diba? probably. haay. many reasons and proofs but bahala na. haay, I AM DEPRESSED. SO MUCH. no one to turn to, haay. i am a very lonely person haha. that reminds me of something! "hahahaha", "aaahhh".. wala lang, words from the uninterested. sorry for the bitterness but i am sad and forlorn. torn and angry. weary and drained.





nasan na ung dating diane..

here i will vent.

galit ako. nasaktan ako. alam nyo kung bakit? kita nyo nga tagalog na ako ngssalita eh. i don't want to cry.. why? kasi 8 plang at momy ko labas pasok ng kwarto ko at namppintas ng kung ano ano. but that's not the problem. NO. it's far from that. alam mo ung frendster. diba ngsshow dun kpag may bagong ngyyari sa site/account ng mga tao? i don't know if that is true or what pero eto. ANDUN SI RED. "added new friends". know when? november 14,2006. meaning, kaninang hapon/tanghali when i was sitting in the damn library WAITING. di man lang ngtext, chikka o kahit ano. nghhintay, ngaalala. un pala, most likely ngraragnarok.. nkkipaglandian sa kng sinong mga babaeng un. baka kalaro sa ragnarok. the hell. bahala na nga. I AM VERY HURT. I'M CRYING INSIDE. THANKS A LOT. THANKS A LOT. PARA AKONG TANGA. HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!!

thoughts in the garden.

i am here now, on a chilly tuesday morning, the the reflection garden.. or whatever this garden's name is. anyway, i'm here in school early and i have nothing to do.. waiting for red as usual. waiting in vain. haay. i don't know why he's not going online lately.. before even if my school he would do so, mgoonline padin xa kahit alam nyang wala ako. maybe he got tired of it? coz i'm starting to get tired waiting in vain too. i don't want to pero in reality, oo ngssawa din ako. sabi kahapon ni kuya jau, maybe today will be a better day? well as i'm starting it, nada. not a good day, yet. i am really doubting if red will still go online after 12 here or something. he goes to school at 7.. the only thing he does text about. after that, rare na. haay. he'd text.. paalis na daw xa ng bahay and he's about to be late.. gnyan ganyan..

don't get me wrong. nilalabas ko lang ung frustration ko of him not being there all the time. i miss it. i need him too. haay. my need has to wait.. he has to focus on his studies. he sacrificed for me before, now it's my time to sacrifice. it's just i miss him so much. Lord help me through this day..

for better or for worse... i will still love you...^_^

i love red. the previous posts have mirrored my feelings.. fear, and lonliness. it was only me worrying, missing red too much. you know, i've felt alone these past few days.. and it's just, unknown to me. the feeling was uncalled for but it came. you saw me wishing for red to talk to me.. but i didn't understand his position too. i was too selfish and only though of myself. he has had long days in school, a minimal budget which he goes with everyday.. haay. i am still thankful though, because even through those challenges he still manages, even for just one text, to text me. to let me know that he is there. it was me who was wrong. it was me who failed to recognize this. i thank you red, my babuy. you've given me so much..


this is just the ramdomness i felt just these very moments. haha welcome to my pink/red room! feel free to comment.

the pink/red room and the frame.

the lamp and the wall.

the study table.

marshmallows on the pink bed.

diane eating the marshmallows.

metallic diane.

waiting in vain.

falling out of love..

IS IT POSSIBLE?

after so much has happened between the two of us, after all the trials we've come to face, and conquer, is it possible to fall out of love? i know that is a definite possibility, but call me hard-headed, i refuse to acknowledge that. no we are not falling out of love, no. it's just that we are busy with things right now.. him with school and me, with school and work. it just plagues me to think that, what if? thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. call me sappy, but i've been a wet rag these past days. i easily cry. i'm not ashamed of this..

this weekend, when we usually talked like 10 hours a day or more (figuratively speaking.. which is quite right din naman.) before, ngaun, the most was 3 hours. for the whole weekend. i am troubled by this. i cannot live with that. 3 hours in two days? no.

i know there are reasons, he has to sleep early, i understand. his schedule starts early at 7-7:30 monday-friday. i too have work and school. but what i can't understand is.. before we got to adjust to this. we made it work. why isn't now working? well, i'm just not used to this. i'm so confused.

the Lord answered my prayers yesterday, He made me happy for a few moments. but then it was gone. happy one moment, sad the next. i am a walking wreck.

Lord, please guide me through life.

life Lord has not been an easy task for me. it's been an uphill and downhill climb for me. there has been a few highs, and a number of lows too.


i know this is all a test Lord, this is how i treat everything. this is all a test.


i know that you separated red and me to test the loyalty and love we have for each other. i know that you brought me here for a reason.


i'm failing Lord, my defenses are starting to fall. help me keep them up, Lord, give me strength.


Sometimes i just cry out of frustration, out of hurt, out of fear, out of loneliness. Things go through my mind, it must be the devil at work making me lose my focus.


I think a lot and in those thoughts, i think of the what if's, the what might's, the until when's, the how's, the why's.. it is an endless process.


sometimes i feel alone, sometimes i don't. Lord, i know your listening. listen please to my plea.


i'm not asking for happily ever after's, i just want everything to be alright. make me happy Lord, i ask not of material things. i merely want happiness Lord, and that i see in the people i'm not with right now.


i let the tears flow Lord, for tears give me a much appreciated relief. relief from the hurt and sorrow, and from everything else that is going on. life is not bitter i know, but in my mind it seems to be. Lord help me through it.


i've addressed you lord in my past posts. i know your the only one i can turn too. You've helped me through thigh corners before. little things that have gone unnoticed. i know now that it was You all along, You Lord gave me knowledge and wisdom, trials and tests, which until now i've learned to accept.


but this time Lord, i don't know. i'm starting to be weak. i cry to release some of the pain, the hurt, the pressure. but Lord that isn't enough. haha am i going crazy?


I NEED HELP LORD.

bitterness will bring me nowhere.

well, red got mad at me kasi i told him that i was wearing nail polish. i'm not mad at him for getting mad over that.. i understand naman eh, he just wants me simple. he wants me to focus on other stuff like studying and homeworks instead na ngppaint ako ng nails. i understand him naman he has a valid point.. i just wanted to try something new!! that's all naman eh.. it's just eggplant colored nails.. did i go too far?

i don't know sabi ni red prang wag daw ako gmaya ng ibang tao. be AKO. sabi nya baka since nkkita nyang uso naman ung sex dito baka gayahin ko din daw. i know i won't go that far naman noh. minsan hehe si red ung examples nya lumalayo sa topic hehe.. i mean, I WON'T DO THAT! i have a brain naman eh. and i know, from the bottom of the kalalim-laliman of my heart, i'm committed to him. un lang hehe. i'm not mad or anything, i just want bring it out.^_^ nothing changes between us, he's still my babuy and i know he's still mine.^_^

kuya jaurel said something na mganda kanina hehe. sabi nya na, fighting is a normal thing in relationships. it even makes the bond between the two, closer. i agree din nman, based on experience and isip ko din. kasi, if hindi kayo ngffight, prang you'd wonder.. does he stil care about me? doesn't he care?? wala lang.. and based on experience na din hehe. we had BIG fights between kami ni red.. REALLY BIG.kaya un, maybe that makes us stronger..^_^ or something hehe.^_^

anyway, i just want to bring it out.. i'm here and about to start on my research papers soo, i need inspiration.^_^

grrr.

haha, i've noticed na ung mga title ng post ko usually sounds. grrr, haay, hehe.. haha wala lang i am not a creative title writer. so sorry nlang haha. anyway, i don't visit this blog that ofter anymore. wala lang, it's frustrating kasi na, ppasok ng blog, hoping to find a comment or something un nman pala wala. nkkadrain haha! i might say na i don't care but i do. anyway, anyway hehe.

when was the last time i blogged na nga? see i can't remember oh! i don't know where to start my kwento haha. nga pala, i uploaded some pics sa multiply. multiply id ko, 02052005. haha tamad na akong mgpost dito eh habang storya pa haha. sakit kasi ang aking ktawan kaya aun, dun nlang hehe. malamig ngaun. coolld..

i miss red. pero at least lam mo un dear reader? hehe.. red doesn't have tampos na knwari, hindi ako mkainternet, text nlang kami. i don't know how i feel about this. part of me is happy, kasi at least di na xa nggalit over overly-simple things. but part of me is worrying and sad, kasi what if he doesn't care anymore? what if it's ok nlang na ganun kami? i don't want that. i KNOW that he loves me, but the greatest fear that i have is that, someone falls OUT of love. i can always say that, no that will never happen, mahal namin ang isat isa, but in reality, i think that can definitely be a possiblity. that is why, wala lang i pray and talk to God. He's the one I can turn to tlaga. anyway, wala lang, the othernight when it was "raining", i was talking with the Lord. i was pleading sa knya, Lord please bring my message across thousands of miles. I was, i don't know, believing in telepathy hehe. i was trying to talk to someone and really focusing na sana, even just a breath, mrinig ako ng taong un.

i wish telepathy was real. messages between thousands of miles, ung naririnig/nalalaman mo ung iniisip ng tao na un at that very moment. ohh such power.. i wish the world of magic were real. haay. but then, if magic did exist, how would i know the difference between reality and illusion? too many choices.

i'm just rambling on today, i don't know i just feel like talking. maybe this is what turns off some people from my blog! hahaha! anyway, shoot! nghang ata pgupload ko ng pictures. grrr. i hope not naman.

i'm hoping sana mkausap kami ni red hehe. i'm so mean, i'm wishing sana may pasok na ulit si red haha! wala lang, when he had class kasi, we got to talk soo un hehe wish he had class na.^_^ i am pretty held up this week with a lot of writing. haha i know that right now, i SHOULD be doing something productive, like write the introduction i so responsibly didn't know was due last thursday? or the rough draft due THIS tuesday. or the research papers in humanities and composition? WHY NOT SHOULD YOU ASK? because i am tired! i had a full day today, and yesterday! khapon, work, work, work! buti at the end we went to target.. relaxing haha in a way. i bought the phantom of the opera dvd, one of my favorite movies EVER! and have been singing to it since then. think of me.. think of me fondly, when they say goodbyeeee.. haha just love the carlotta scene! makes me remember jei ente so vividly! can just imagine her haha for the english monologue ahha. high school memories tlaga haha.

wow i've got a long post na. betcha konting konti, if meron mkkatapos mgbasa nito. haha.

was trying to find, the carlotta scene on youtube but to no avail.

as long as theezz thingz apen, THIS DOES NOT APPEENN! anyamo! bring my doggie! buh-buy! ANYAMO!

haay forgive me pero.. putanginang buhay ito.

sorry for the expletive wala lang i'm tired with my life. wala lang. eto a list of what makes today SOO crappy.

1. my head hurt the whole day hindi ko alam.. i think it's because of the stress.
2. we went to the doctor, waited for more than an hour, and when FINALLY the doctor came, told me my knee is still NOT better. may swelling pa daw. placed me on steroids for another 2 weeks. joy.
3. Leonard Vallas. chief estimator. what's to like? haha. got to work.. called by him.. telling me that what i was doing was wrong.. specifically saying.. since you're not here all the time.. as if i'm the worst person in the world. ugh. i hate him. haha. even called by earl as.. FRANKINSTEIN. eww.
4. got late for anatomy. no biggie. pero being late and not being able to print the lecture? ughh. yoko nun. haay.
*thinking of what happened today just makes my head go THUMP. THUMP even harder.
make it stopp!!!!!*
5. printed airfares from online. was quite excited about it. then when my mom picked me up, di kwento.. snsabi na may nkita akong mdyo mas mura. then tnanong ko, ako nlang mgisa.. sabi, hindi, ikaw pumili kung sang tito o tita mo gusto. pero hindi pedeng ikaw lang. prang WAAA! ayoko kaya.. and another thing tinanong ko, alam na ba ni dady? ang sagot, HINDI. i cannot comprehend hehe. wala lang. i know he'll get mad. i don't care really. pero nkkainis eh. i know my dad.. try everything to stop me. the kontrabida of my life. FOREVER.
*and the top reason everything today just wouldn't go right...*
6. I JUST CAN'T CONTACT RED. he was texting me, and i was texting him but the problem was, hindi kami mgkatyempo!!!!!!!! i don't know what the hell is wrong with the communication system, ewan ko ba, is it the change in time?? ano ba?? he just can't receive my messages damn it!!! puta! sorry tlaga pero it's just soo frustrating!!!!!!!! i hate it! alam mo un he's texting na why am i not texting, and he's all worried na and texting even from chikka, you know we were trying our best to reach each other, even only a thread, huhu ung connection lang na alam kong alam nyang andun ako.. pero wala! cguro mga 10 texts na un! thinking of it nga lang makes me cry!!!!!! lam nyo un, he's thinking maybe i forgot to text him na pero i'm there! i texted!! bwisit! huhuhu..

i'm crying tears inside of me. i'm holding it back. i've never felt like this in a long time. Lord please help me. i know i'm not supposed to be blogging, instead i should be working to get rid of the problem, pero Lord it's just to much. Lord give me the courage and strength Lord to face what challenges i know tomorrow will bring. huhu, i need a friend Lord, i know you're the only one i can turn to. Please help me, Lord.

i just typed my prayer. haay. Lord, tulungan tayo ha? i know you'll guide me through this. Bless those i care most too Lord. hehe, Lord sana alam ko ngddream pa ngaun un si red, please whisper in his ear that i love him so much. haay. i just want him to know that.T_T haha had to stand up there and breath. i had tears in my eyes, but i don't want to let out what i'm really feeling. Lord please take the pain away.

Please, Lord.

happy halloween...^_^

haha haven't posted the kimono pics of me haha na sabi ko.. i will eventually hehe.^_^ tomorrow, we're going trick or treating.. wow noh tanda ko na? pero yesterday, while my brother was shopping for a costume, harry potter hehe, most ng mga ngsshopping are not little kids.. they were teenagers/adults my age>.< la lang haha tapos ung mga pinpili nila ung mga sexy stuff.. i don't know. is it expected na once teenager ka na, that kind of stuff ang type mo? ala lang it seemed weird, kasi if it were sexy or quite revealing, ung mga fat suits naman or bsta ung kttawanan. i don't know. i don't think na ganun ang dpat na iportray nilang image of a teenage girl. kaya tuloy it drives american teens to eating disorders eh.. bakit naman sa philippines, although heard of na, it was virtually unheard of before. who ever thought of throwing up the food they just ate? it's just digusting and wrong. nicole richie.. i heard just checked herself in to a "nutrition" center. helo? eh my youngest brother nga is heavier than her eh! ugh.. I HATE THAT NOTION. THINNESS IS NOT THE MEASURE OF ONE'S BEAUTY. look at me, i'm not thin, pero ganda padin?^_^ hahaha! wala lang..

anyway, tomorrow we are going trick or treating. my mom's officemate, Les, invited us there and with the way he was so excited about it, mukhang mganda nga. sabi nga niya, his wife will take the day off tomorrow para lang mgprepare>.< whoa ha. so anyway, i'm not going as a thin cheerleader, or a sexy devil, or whatever. i'm going as a geisha/japanese person.. conservative and appropriate for me.^_^

when i got home from school, we carved the pumpkins we bought yesterday from the pumpkin patch. haha nkki-americanized na din kami noh ha.. carve the pumpkins oh diba?^_^ haha. wala lang. and ala lang, just want to show my "masterpiece." copied straight from the book! haha!


o diba? pumpkin...^_^


kissy, kissy mr. pumpkin.. with glasses..


and without.

Happy Halloween Everyone!

hahaha.

well, today. is. okay. hahaha ala lang we were out almost the whole day.. first we went to the thrift store na nadiscover namin ng momy ko yesterday haha and guess what i bought. kung khapon, mukha akong eskimo, ngaun naman.. kimono!!! wahahahah! well i don't know if it really is a kimono, but it sure looks like it! i'm posting some pics here *wait, i'm model for the webcam first haha* anyway, la lang, prang ang haba ng araw. we've done a lot na pala hehe. i'm showing red those pics too.^_^ i haven't talked really to red since ngsem-break. wala xang money. i understand naman eh.. honestly, he isn't from a family na, wow ang yaman or un.. gets. ala lang i don't care naman eh, i don't consider that. hehe pero what makes my heart swell, is ung alam ko na ngang ala xang money, walang panginternet card and text, but he still finds a way na kahit ppano, i'd hear from him.^_^ I'M SOO LUCKY WITH MY BEBE.^_^ ala lang, alam mo un ung effort?<3 one time, ngpunta xang comp shop and nkigamit lang xa saglit sa main computer, kasi frend nya ung mayari, so walang bayad. another time, "hiniram" nya ung internet card ng kuya nya haha. another text xa once lang kasi may nhanap na money. ala lang.^_^ haay i want to thank him with all my heart.^_^ thank you beb for making such an effort.^_^ can't help but smile..

haay haay. i think i have to curb my spending na or else i won't save enough for my trip back home. well, yes, complete na ung nasave ko for airfare..*woohooo!!!* pero you know? for other stuff like knwari malling, gimmicks, pasalubong to and from.. i need money for that too noh>.<>.<>.<>.<>.< ugghhh!! enough with the expenses diane!! *since i don't know if anyone still reads this, forgive me for talking to myself.

i am PLANNING to start with my algebra homework.. no biggie naman dali lang algebra. then there's studying for anatomy which is the least favorite subject next to composition for me. haay. 6 weeks till the semester is over.. CAN'T WAIT!

miss my beb soo i am planning on buying him internet load from online.^_^ weehheee...^_^ THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING ME A JOB SO THAT I COULD FREELY BUY WHAT I WANT AND FOR GIVING ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAVE TO GO HOME. INDEED, GOD IS GREAT!!!^_^ THANK YOU LORD!

haay.

haay. di padin si kat ngccomment. yoko na nga mgpilit hehehe. kung gusto nya di fine, aus. kung hindi, aus lang din.

anyway, 3 na ng umaga and we just got home from sa house ni tita honey. aww they're moving na tomorrow and ala lang kakalungkot. prang family na din kasi eh. may times prang gabi gabi dito xa kain dinner hehe tapos ala lang at home na hehe. tapos si benjamin huhu.. knina nkkaiyak hehe.. tintawag na xa ng momy nya alis na sila, eh dito xa sa room ko, iaayawan ba nman nanay nya! hehe.. tapos knwari ng bbye ung mom nya para bka sumama sabi ba nman sa momy nya.. bye! awww.. un that's why i ended up going to their place. dpat parents ko lang at coffee sila dun pero sama na din ako hehe. anyway, they're coming back naman on november 17, i think. basta may concert ang wiggles and benjamin loves them haha. tapos sabi ni tita honey, which she repeated na ilang beses, bbilhan nya ko ng ticket for christmas papuntang michigan>.<>.< merong mga ngiice fishing hehe. i don't think i'm ready for THAT cold.. mukhang malamig ata un hahaha!!

my mom and i went to a thrift store knina. parang ukay ukay pero aus naman ung clothes ung di nman ung tlagang panget. may mga labels pa nga haha. anyway, we were looking around ala lang we haven't been to that thrift store before so explore lang kami, looking at what they have. tapos eh near closing time na un so la ganung time and la naman kaming bbilhin in particular so lakad lakad. AND THEN, i saw it. a coat. hahhaa. it's a winter coat! and i tried it on, fit na fit. prang made for me to find! hahahah! well, to describe it, to give a better picture.. have you watched snow dogs? you know, dentist from miami going to alaska? remember the girl there, Barb? that is almost the same coat!!!!!!!!! wahahaha! it was a sign! klangan daw pmunta akong michigan! haha! and know how much that was?? 6 dollars! yes! brand new parkas like that cost minimum na kpag maaus aus, 75 dollars. MURA NA DIBA! so un, i bought it. wala lang trip lang. haha not knowing kung ano pgggamitan ko haha. impulse!!! oh well, aus lang ganda naman.^_^

i am seeing a trend here. it's like, a number of posts here in my blog are dedicated to the things i buy. grrr. am i beginning to be a shopaholic? nope i don't think so. i buy naman kung alam kong steal eh at ggamitin ko. hahaha wala lang just sharing.^_^

red texted me kanina.. ngaun plang evening and i think he ran out of load already. aus lang at least i still know that he was there.^_^ love my beb.^_^ kahit na wala na xang ipon mgtext lang o mkainternet. that's how he loves me.^_^ and soo, soo much more.

goodnight na. it's past 3 in the morning and i told my mom knina, ppunta kami dun sa thrift store tomorrow morning. morning kasi nga hapon, mgbbakasakali hehe na andun si red.^_^ haay thrift store shopping. it just proves na brand is not important. i mean, bsta prang don't be picky with your stuff. you'll never know where you'll find a bargain.^^

exhausted.

haay. short break lang hehe. pagod na ko kkasagot eh. still have no topic for english, where i have to write/compile at least 15 sources, MLA style, citations and all(which i might add was due nung tuesday pa so late na.).. AND another paper due for english na, a source evaluation of sorts. haay. lucky me noh? miss my bebe na.. wala na kami tampuhan hehe.^_^ ala lang, he doesn't want me talking with boys. hehe. eh nkwento ko nkkachat ko ung ka'mU' ni kat.. haha. aun. tampo. pero wala na un noh.^_^ it's his enrollment na daw ngaun.. and sabi ko sa knya full load na nya.^_^ ala lang hehe just to remind him, baka biglang tumagal pa ung studies nya eh.. la lang.^_^ hehe cguro sabay kaming mkkatapos ng college.^_^

did you know dati, nung si red ay nsa knyang "break" from school.. la lang, he was bargaining with me, pleading, na dun nlang daw ako mgaral sa pinas. uu naman noh sino ba nman saming gstong mgkahiwalay? anyway, hehe sabi nya, kung gusto ko nga daw pareho kami ng course eh hehe.. kung gusto ko daw preho nga kaming nursing eh.. haay la lang, prang from that, na-realize ko, he really does love me.^_^ THANK GOD FOR HIM.^_^

oh well balik aral na ako hehe.. bye bye. ugh.

a 'nice' way to end the day.

haay. got to speak with red tonight. not good. am numb haha but then, what can i do noh? haay. i'm just the luckiest person in the world ain't i? just SOO LUCKY. haay. soo much for waiting 4 days to get to talk to you na, haha you sucked all the happiness. happy thoughts gone. ang saya mo tlaga GRABE. thanks a lot RED. thank you thank you! haha wala na akong alam sa psychology tuloy i feel hurt. dumb emotions. haay. emotions are stupid. i am happy and gleeful! woopdidee!

kat naman haha.

grrr kat naman di ka padin comment?T_T grr.. hehe ala lang wala na akong mgawa eh it's a little before 1 am in the morning, andito padin ung mga friends friends, benjamin is sleeping na in the bed, pagud na pagud na ko.. grr wala naman akong mkausap online.T_T RED IS STILL NOT ONLINE. don't know why.. maybe sleep pa xa, pero knina nung ngtext din naman ako wala din xa di xa online o ngreply sa text. haay. it's been a day since we last talked. haha ang babaw ko noh? ala lang, miss the guy. really.

i've been talking with different people lately. si kuya jaurel, cue. kat's online friends.. hehe. si kat din nkkausap ko, pero she's not online lately soo eh sila prati online.. hehe nkkaaliw kausap. wala lang.

haay i'm tired na sobra. i've been playing with the kids (benjamin and rj.. james din pero they left early.) since around 6 til 12. hehe kung di umalis sila tito ruben cguro by now, we are still playing. they are like the energizer bunnies. ako din naturally, energizer bunny noh. hehe.. it's hard to keep up with them noh kung wala kang energy. haay too bad tlaga sila tita honey and benjamin are moving na to michigan. kakaiyak. been attached to the kid already hehe bait bait and very curious. tapos prang minsan lam mo un ako ung hnhanap! hehe.. knwari di ako mkita, biglang iiyak, atiii!!! hehehe.. la lang heartwarming naman diba? hehe. tapos ANG CUTE! hehe kala mo wlang filipino na alam tong bata.. mukhang amerkano eh ksi american dad nya.. kapag aalis na xa, sa top ng steps, mgssabi ng automatic, prang parrot.. UWII AKUUU!! hehehehe cute! hehe if i can only show you!:D

oh well hehe dito nlang muna ako mgbblog. i've been trying multiply pero ala lang.. i don't like it na sa buong network iaannounce na kung may bagong post or something. wag nyo naman iannounce noh. hehe. so i'm back here with blogger. aus lang, hehe the only people that i know ngbbasa nito is.. si kat. person pala! haha. she hasn't been reading it naman so.. ako lang. i just need an outlet kaya eto. i'm tired. yey ngtext na si red sa chikka. he's coming.^_^

tired, exhausted yet happy.

yes i am tired, yet again. haha. kanina nga the filipina librarian in the library(duh! san pa ba mkkita librarian?) was chatting with me tapos nbangit ko ung sobrang bigat kong schedule. haha sabi ba naman, "oo nga eh, kita sa mukha mo!" haha the stress is even starting to show on my face! not my pretty, beautiful face! hehe OA. anyway so un. cguro mukha akong constipated. haha. anyway, still have tons to do. pero at least i'm doing it diba? haha himala nga eh i'm done with my algeb homework na kahit kkatapos lang ng class! now, with mycomplab naman hehe.

happy you say? humm.. that's what i'm feeling. i'm in a state of utter bliss. paradise even. because, even despite the stress and work i do, at the end of the day, i have someone to come home to. (come home to meaning computer hehe.) ALFRED CANASA.<3 hehe i can't even remember the last time we fought. before a week won't pass without us finding something to quarrel about. pero ngaun hindi na. hehe kanina nga when we were talking, ala lang he told me the same thing.^_^ he was happy too.^^ WE'RE BOTH HAPPY. and that hasn't happened in a long, LONG time. haay being in a state of bliss. i never want to leave it. EVER.

hehe i took pictures of me wearing glasses. panget padin hehe. oh well, hear's some... *notice i'm wearing this shirt again. haha.*


me and my fat face. ick.


THE SUN REFLECTED ON MY EYES. LENSES NLANG PALA HEHE.


au' natural.


diane of the orient. (mukha akong chinese.>.<)

still kinda hurting.

hehe ala lang.. got to talk to red na kanina, if only for an hour. nkatulog daw kasi xa eh
and his phone got busted kya hindi xa mkareply. aun so una tampo tampo ako.. ala lang
i had no idea naman kasi eh. pero bnba ko nlang pride ko and wala na ung tampo.. so
un happy kami gnyan ganyan. tapos nung time na to say goodbye.. haay, ala lang nkka-
inis na nkkaiyak na tuloy.. prang lam mo un prati nyang nammention ung ganun pero
ngaun lang ako nahit ng malakas. snabi, sana love mo nga tlaga ako beb.. prang WTF?!
hindi pa ba halatang mahal kita! huhu ang dami na nting pngdaanan, dami nating sacrifices
for one another and still you would question if i love you?! huhu.. ala lang kainis eh huhu..
ung prang gusto ko ng umiyak at hilahin buhok ko sa frustration. haay. LALAKE.

i just finished painting my nails. la lang. they're all coral now. haha. haven't started with
any homework. bummer. anywhoo.. gusto ko ng matulog. gusto ko mkalimutan na tinanong
pa un sakin. humph. tapos pa.. kainis pa.. he always does this, kahit na ssabihin ng sstop na.
ung prang knwari ako si ninay! bwisit. ala lang prang sensitive ako dun eh. huhu sometimes
it just makes me cry. ung knwari wrong send na ninay knwari kausap nya pero wala nman
tlaga.. ala lang. kasi lam mo un, malayo na nga kami sa isat isa and there's no way for me
whether he really is seeing someone else. malay ko ba totoo na pala ung loko nya diba? huhu..
i hope naman hindi. haay.

hangang here nlang muna. instead of wasting my time at wala nman akong gngawang
homework, matutulog nlang ako at baka maaga pa akong magising hehe. au' revior.

i'm hurting.

hehe drama ko noh? la lang stayed up til 4 last night, then woke up at 10 expecting na sana
at least message man lang meron galing kay red pero, WALA. huhu don't know what's
happening to him right now.. is he sleeping? is he somewhere else? doesn't he have any load?
haay. i just feel depressed. hehe.. cguro first time in a long time na as in wala akong mkausap.
dati, kung mgkagalit man kami ni red, i always have kat to turn to. pero kat's not here too..
i don't have anyone else. ung mga people sa ym ko, i don't really talk to and i'm not in a
position to start now. haha kaya nga blog nlang ako ng blog. hehe. just wanted to talk to
someone, kahit na it's really no one. haha ala lang, just want to speak my mind out.

i feel depressed. i haven't felt this way in a long time, but i do now. haay.. not in the mood to
talk about anything really. haha gusto ko na nga lang lumabas and go somewhere but i cant,
malay mo baka dumating si red eh. haay.. love you red.

alone again haha.

kat and red still not online. bother. haay.. ala lang been feeling depressed na about it. red is out
buying clothes daw.. i don't know he didn't get into too much details at di na nkareply.. probably
ran out of load. this is the first times kasi na kapag online ako at may gngawang iba xa eh. it's
usually the other way around.. ako ung may gngawa. there's nothing wrong about it naman.
it's just i'm not used to it. i probably will. pero i don't want that to happen. i don't want to stop
missing him. THAT WILL JUST BE PLAIN WRONG. haha got teary eyed nga knina eh when
he said na he wouldn't be able to go online tonight. ala lang, hintay ko din naman kasi xa eh.

i haven't talked to him more than 30 minutes straight this since last thursday pa. haay.. i just
miss him. i suddenly felt what i was feeling right after arriving here, ung constant na pain sa
chest. ugh. aus lang.. at least i know, i feel. at least i know that there are definitely feelings for
him. kasi sometimes, cguro kapag i get too preoccupied with other things like school and work
and i'd just wonder, what am i really feeling? but really, now, in times like this, i know i love
him and long for him. hehe.. it's been a long time since ngaway kami. this is a first hehe.. maybe
more than a month na kaming di ngaaway. and i'm very happy about that. talagang dati, away
hindi naman all the time, pero about little things. i guess were just growing up. hehe.. i just
hope that, sa paggrow ni red, he wouldn't forget about me. huhu.. don't leave me beb. love you.

hehe.. prang status report ng relationship namin. haha. la lang i've been posting about mostly
myself i think lately so it's time for more about other things.

ciao.

diane is exhausted.

i'm tired again. weekend. rest. tired and burned. ugh. and to top that, di ko
pa mkausap ng maaus si kat and red..T_T i think there's something wrong
with red's internet connection and kat, well she's not online lately. i don't
know, or she's not in ym that much. she posts on friendster but di ko naaabutan
sa ym.. oh well.. just wait.

anyway, last night was tita rita's birthday. grabe ang daming pgkain and
she cooked it all herself. stir-fried vegatables in oyster sauce, baby-back
ribs, stuffed crabs, pancit, camaron!(bsta ung breaded squid, sarap!),
embutido she made pa from scratch, at saka KARE-KARE. hehe.. foodfest
galore! pero surprisingly, hindi ako ganun kadami kumain like before. hehe
i think i passed the stage of being a gutton. haha di na tulad dati na may
handaan, isusubsob ko mukha ko sa pgkain. ngaun di na msyado. passed
that stage already. woohoo! now.. how to shed the pounds i gained from
all the eating before? humm..

i am suddenly craving for cappucino chip ice cream. sa fort myers beach
lang un eh.. haha just when i thought of food, my mind actually flew to
that. yumm.. diane wanting cappucino chip..

i am missing red. not that we not talked everyday, it's just, di na tulad ng
dati na text text. haay yesterday nga, i only got one text message from
him..*teardrop*. last night after the party, i was waiting for him to 'wake
up' and to chat with me un pala nasa skul xa having a test. not that mgttampo
na ko for that, it's just he didn't tell me. huhu.. before prating up-to-date..
ala lang.. now nga, the reason why i'm writing a blog is because i'm waiting
for him. his brother's using the comp and while waiting daw, chikka nlang
kami. but he hasn't replied na. maybe he slept or ran out of load, i don't
know. haay.. lungkot na ko.. i missing my babuy terribly...

hngang dito nlang muna because am just really tired. my knee is hurting
again and i would probably walk with a limp again till tuesday. that was
what happened the other times i was this tired. played with benjamin and
the kids last night. it was fun but very tiring. benjamin is a very curious
and intelligent kid. knows how to say his name and his age at two. also
can identify his ABC's. and use the dvd players and laptops. genius kid.
hehe ang cute pa, hehe ngsstart na akong hanapin! haha.. last night bigla
nlang umiyak nung di ako mkita. then came running to me. and laughing.
hehe cute.

ok hangang dito nlang muna tlaga. will probably go and start doing my
homework. very tired and very stressed. good thing i have something
to look forward to. more or less 6 more months till i come home. woohoo..
can't wait. love ya'll.

week over.. for school.

wee tapos na skul hehe. haay pero no stopping for me, work tomorrow and
probably babysitting pa. phew.. nonstop. and endless na homework prang
di na naubus nkkainis. i have a migrane. kanina pa toh sa skul eh.. it's got
something to do with the eyes.. haha i'm wearing glasses na! buti din naman
noh ayoko pang mabulag. well anyway, i had two glasses made, ung isa
sunglasses na may grade ung isa normal glasses.. eh ung girl dun sa optical
huhu suot ko na ung normal glasses nbali pa nya! so now, i am pretty sure
kaya sumsakit ulo ko kasi hindi regular ung suot ko ng glasses. grr! and
my eyes are getting really blurry, nattempt na nga talga akong mgshades
in the classroom eh mukha naman akong bulag kaya wag nlang hehe.

kat noh tagal ko ng nkita ung profile mo humph! araw araw kaya ako
tumitingin sa site mo>.< haha anong picture sinsabi mo?? haha. hindi pa
ako nkkapagpicture lately hehe. no point din naman kasi eh wala akong
kasama. haha pero plano kong bumili ng digicam.. hehe mura lang eh, medyo.
prang meron nga 5megapixels prang 5k lang ung value eh.^^ so hehe bbili
ako.. uhmm pero not now. cguro before xmas.. prang merry xmas to me!

bumili ako ng para kay red ngaun.^^ kasi tomorrow ung filipino na architect
na ngtraining dito, si kuya riliene, uwi na sa pinas and ppadala ako.^^ hehe..
ala lang here i am writing on my blog when i haven't even written my letter
to my babuy. shame on me! hehe i bought him a watch kanina sa target.^^
sana mgustuhan niya un.^^ hehe para akong sugar momy noh? hehehe..
ala lang i don't care hehe i'm happy giving things especially dun sa special
na people sakin.. ala lang prang i don't get to spend time with them anymore
kaya prang huhu in that way nlang.T_T hehe am also sending money sa
kanya para bilhan si kat ng load sa ragna. hehe.. as promised kat!!^__^
thank you tlaga!!

oohh.. si kat ngeeyeliner din?? hehe ano ung iyo ung liquid? ako as in ung
old-fashioned pencil talaga eh.^^ hehe mura nga lang eh pero aus lang..
ung binili ko ung black tlaga hehe.. next time bbili akong ibang kulay. /gg
hehe knina nung ngpunta kami sa target, sabi ko sa momy ko bbili akong
kahit anong makeup hehe wala lang. tapos hehe sabi sakin, eh di mo nga
gngamit eh! haha true, true. eh kasi naman eh i'm not really ung kikay
msaydo. i only became interested in it kasi walang mgawa, or maybe sa
kkabasa ng chismis about mga hollywood achuchuchu. oh well.. not really
using. hehe.

hehe tama ka nga kat, people will change. pero hehe patawarin mo na ako,
i'm somewhat stuck in the past. i have no close friends dito, no one to talk to
face to face, it sucks. kaya ala lang it's as if i'm not changing. i'm stuck.
kausap ko, blog. nasa harap ng computer parati. it's okay with me. kasi
dahil sa computer nkakausap ko si kat at si red. sila lang naman important.
hehe did you know dindala ko na most of the time laptop ko sa skul kapag
ung long days(ie. tuesday, thursday) kaya nkkausap ko nga si red eh hehe..
haven't got the chance to talk with kat pa kasi sira internet nila pero aus na
daw hehe. ala lang prang alam nyo ung mga movies na ung computer may
brain? tapos xa ngrerespond sa tao? ala lang my life's like that. kanina, i was
eating in the canteen tapos knkwento ko kay red kung anong knkain ko
(cheese quesadilla and fries as always.) tapos eww xa ng eww hehe (di mahilig
sa cheese eh hehe.) ala lang i know kung kaharap ko xa un din cguro snsabi
nya.^^ ala lang haay.. miss computer, miss computer.. this is my life, i have
no choice.

hehe just want to post. blah day.

haha i just want to post something even though i just posted like 5 minutes ago. i just
converted to the beta version of blogger and nothing much to it. haha. this is officially 
the first post for the beta version.. whhoohoo. ANYWAY, i'm supposed to write two 
essays tonight and it's already 11:30 and i have yet to start on anything. weeee. and 
tomorrow pa, i have to babysit benjamin dahil ang nanay ay may date kaya minus 
"studying" time for me. haay.. why am i the queen of cramming? hehe there's goes 
the motivation i had to study kanina for psychology. hehe got a 74 there.. well may 
+4 daw.. dunno if plus to the percentage or to the raw score pero at least may plus. 
aus na ung grade na un noh, sa statistics ng teacher, 63 was the median grade. 36% 
got F's.. good thing i'm not one of them.^^ 

anyway, haay prang feeling ko it's been a long time na since i wrote about red.. i 
checked nga eh previous posts, un pala nung thursday lang! gawd that felt long! 
anyway, i was so happy nung ngtext si red tapos dumating daw si kat may cake
at ung sm gC's and thank you xa.^^ ala lang tapos un lam mo naman ako matanong
hehe di un tanong tanong ako ng details pero lam mo din naman si red.. not 
detail oriented hehe. i mean di mahilig mgkwento o mgelaborate! hehe complete
opposite ako eh! anyway, even though a few things didn't go according to plan, 
thanks to milenyo tskh, i am still very thankful and very happy. ^=^ thanks thanks!

i've been keeping track of philippine news lately. hehe. happy naman ako at 
gumaganda ang sitwasyon ng pilipinas. sa mga neighsayers dyan.. ako aus ako 
kay GMA, at least may ngyayari diba? ang gusto immediate na change eh that 
can NEVER happen eh. tapos there are those pa na wala n ngang gngawa but to
pull gma down instead of helping nalang pull the economy up. don't waste your 
time rallying noh mgtrabaho nlang kaya kayo. i read in an article na more us 
companies are looking at the philippines to outsource their operations kasi before
sa india sila, but then, india is getting more expensive and the employees are 
expecting raises and promotions every like 3 months? ala lang, what if mg-IT 
nlang kaya ung mga ngnnursing noh? kaysa ung lahat kayo mgcrowd dyan at 
mngdaya at mgretake ng mgretake, mg-IT nlang kayo. or engineering. or 
something else. hehe. 

me, i am rethinking going into the nursing industry. sabi kanina ng chiropractor
ko, 'if i'm still thinking of going into nursing, might as well mgdoktor nlang ako
kasi i'm gonna spent that long of a time studying.' and here i was thinking na 
wow, i two years pede na ko mgwork as a registered nurse. haha how wrong i 
was. then at least may bachelor of science ka na degree and that is just para 
registered ka and that takes 4 years. kung gusto mo tlagang mgaling ka, you
should take the masters pa daw. wow.. tapos eto pa, i am liking math more than
anatomy. ANATOMY IS A KILLER. eeeiikkk.. simple squamous, keratinized 
stratified squamous, stratified cubodial.. haay i don't think i could torture
myself with all that! tapos next test haha me getting ready to learn about every
single bone in the body and its function?? helo?? i wonder kamusta na ang
nursing si pilipinas. i don't know ala lang it has been too commercialized already.
lahat nlang gusto mgtayo ng nursing school. lam mo un sometimes, i think, how
would you know this school is credible? and where are they going to get qualified
teachers/nurse professors for that eh lahat nga lumilipad ng ibang bansa eh! haay..

wow ang dami kong nasulat ah hehe. goodnight na.. don't know what to do about
those two essays. haay bahala na nga! grrr.. guudnighttyy!!

quick one hehe.

i just really love utada hikaru's first love hehe and i was going through youtube
looking for other versions or whatever. haha just passed by these and really 
liked them. hehe sorry nlang and it's all the same song... favorite ko kasi.^^ 
cool piano grabe grabs!!!


shet! did you know this guy played this BY EAR?? galing tlaga ng mga koreano! hehe..
favorite ko toh.^^

 
the intro sounded weird pero aus din naman pala. mas simple ung isang version pero
aus na din hehe.^^


another version of utada singing.^^

ok hehe back to "doing homework."^^ i hate english and composition!!! eikkk!!!

GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK KAT!!!

hahaha! natawa ako dun sa mga comments mo ha! hehehe... uu nga kahapon
si red pauwi ng skul, more than 4 hours!! sira nga daw ang mga stoplights and
walang lrt.. so un, CHAOS! pero at least everything's alright na. except internet
nyo>.< huhu sayang... maaus din yan!^_^ nasa canteen ako ngaun and i was
waiting for kat pero since shop lang xa computer, she must have went home
already. aus lang, got to talk to her kanina.^_^ i missed kat! hehehe... ay kat
alam ko na kung pano mo mpprint ung letter!!^_^ hehe ngaun lang pmasok
sa isip ko hehe.. what if? kapag punta mo ng shop isave mo lang sa cd then
sa bahay mo iprint! di un.. it saves you from the kahhiyan! hehehe... pero
sabi ko sayo eh nkkatawa momy ni red hehe.^^ bait pa un, ksama ko nga un
kaiyakan dati eh.T_T

ala lang maybe kat your mom was only joking.>.< huhu ala lang kung ako din
naman sabihan nun bbaba ang aking pride. basta, i'm happy with what God
gave me.. fat and all!^_^ hehehe... ala lang there's nothing wrong with you
naman eh! uy ha, wag mong isee in a negative way ung sabi ni red na tumangkad
ka.. COMPLIMENT nga un eh!^_^ hehe see gumagana na kat ung pginom
mo ng milk parati! at saka vitamins!^_^ di diba mganda!^_^

haay hehe kat wag kang mgbago ha? hehe ala lang, napadaan kasi ako sa
multiply ni rose and ala lang, she looks like she changed so much. colored contacts,
make-up, parties... ala lang. hehe hope you won't change!!^__^ hehe hope you'll
still be the kat the i know.. ung pareho tayong batang isip.. hehehe ung kat na
snshake ako at kkurutin ko(ay ikaw din.^^).. ung kat na biglang mkkipaghabulan
at di nahhiya kahit na 4th year na.. hehehe... ung kat na sobra mging best frend
na ipgtatangol ako.. THANK YOU KAT! ala lang i just want kat to know that
i appreciate everything talaga. huhuhu ikaw tlaga best frend ko...T_T ang panget
i don't want to cry dito sa canteen.. kakahiya noh!^_^

oh well thanks talaga kat!^_^ TOOODAAALLLOOOO!!!

thank you jonathan cue.^^

hehe.. kung hindi pa pla ke cue di ko pa mllaman na... BROWNOUT! now
that must be the reason why kat or red isn't online.. must be the reason why
red isn't texting, baka walang battery hehe. NOW I FEEL AT PEACE. haha
ano ba yan prang namatay!^_^ ala lang, i have been worrying the whole day 
eh.. i didn't know na walang kuryente. huhu ganun pla ung feeling na you
didn't hear from the one you love the whole day. ang drama ko noh?? hehe 
ala lang kasi before eto ang storya haha. we would always text.. di lumipas 
isang oras na di kami ngtext.(thank you SUN!) pero ever since andito na ko
states, mas konti na ung times na nkkatext kami, yes we still text everyday 
naman pero di na tulad ng dati na more than 200 a day hehe. eh cguro, i 
got so used to us texting na nung biglang di xa ngtext ngaung araw, sobrang 
worry hehe. prang sabi ko nga kanina, I FELT LOST! huhu.. prang ung feeling
na di mo alam kung anong ngyari, kung may ngawa kang msama.. kala ko nga
galit xa eh. hehe di naman cguro.^^ eh kapag nkita nya kung ilang text ko 
sa kanya kanina noh! hehe tatawa cguro un sakin!^__^ i love my beb.^^ 

2 days to go before red's birthday.. can't wait!

 

haay.

just finished with my psych test. was not sure with almost 10 of the questions.
buti nlang at multiple choice.. hehe 25% chance na mging correct! the following
subjects are just.. blah. english = IQ test.. algeb probably lecture.. and humanities
too. gusto ko mgtake notes kapag humanities, i learn something. dati pa ko
interested sa world history wan ko ba kung bakit hehe.. anyway enough of that,
my blog isn't for studies hehe.

i brought my laptop to school today hehe hoping na mkaYM ko si kat or red..
but both of them aren't here. aus lang hehe maybe they're busy with something.
pero si red di ako nttext.. di din iwan message. huhu i'm worried. i don't know if
i did anything that would make him mad.. why won't he text me? maybe alang
load, ngttipid, nkatulog, may homework.. the possibilities are endless. ala lang i
can't help but worry that's all.

last night i baby-sat benjamin. hehe two nights in a row na din akong ngbbabysit
sa kanya. aus lang got a fat $80 for both nights.^^ aus na din 2-3 weeks ko na
ding baon un noh! hehe.. that is kung di ko gastusin sa iba.. but then i have my
sweldo naman from work kaya meron padin!^__^ if i keep up all the working, i'll
be saving enough money for airfare back to the philippines in no time! hehe ang
optimistic ko noh? ala lang hehe better than that kysa ung isipin kong di ako
mkkauwi.. that will only depress me. basta i WILL go back home next year, summer.

ok haay time for english.. sayang naman, i waited since 10 kung dadating si red
but he didn't go online. next time nlang cguro. wala pa din kasi kaming internet
sa bahay eh.. buhuu.. anyway, his birthday is this sunday na, can't wait. hehe pra
namang andun ako noh but still birthday nya un eh. i still have to buy the phone
card to call.. NOTE TO SELF.

buubueyyy!!

grrr.

grrr damn comcast! kainis, they were supposed to connect the internet na yesterday
pero xempre ngkagulo gulo nnaman as usual and now, wala! woohoo. NOT! anyway,
thank god at merong internet dito sa skul. phew..

kat prang tagal na kitang di nkkausap ah..T_T ala lang.. nung weekend di din tayo
msyado nkapagusap. hehe kat ala lang got to say this para alang taguan.^_^ prang
nailang ako dun sa pic mo with achie.. hehe ala lang pra kasing your so different eh.
pero ngak don't mind me again!! haha ala lang it doesn't mean that you are any
different, it's just the pose or something or the attitude dun sa pic haha. it's soo..
UN-KAT. hehe that's all.^_^

it's only 5 days to go before red's birthday!(philippine time hehe.) kat sabihin mo
kung kelan mo bbigay ha! kung saturday or sunday! hehe kahit ano dun kat basta
kung alin ang flexible sa sched mo. kat thank you, thank you soo muchoo!!! hehe..
don't worry! bigay ko sayo ung "gift" ko! hahaha!! ano ba ung gusto mo? ragna load?
mU load? epoints?? hehe.. don't know eh.>.< excited na ako na tmawag kay red
tapos igreet xa personally(well, over the phone.) ng happy birthday! hehe mgging
gurang na ung babuy ko!! haha dinefend ba naman ung sarili nung sinabi kong
mgging gurang na xa, sabi ba naman, eh baby babuy kaya ako!^_^ hehe uu true...^^
20 years old na babs kuuu!!!^___^

oh well.. haha i'm gonna get picked up by my tita dito sa skul. ipapababysit nya
kasi ako kay benjamin hehe. aus lang mabilis lang naman daw.. and after that, well
i better start with that letter for red diba! haha mamaya malate pa ung letter
di pa msama!T_T

oh well.. tooodallooo!

long LONG day.

thank god today is finished. we've moved to our new apartment.. i got my own
room already wee. i am pretty tired.. exhausted.. beat. but i was quite fun kasi
bayanihan spirit tlaga ng filipino.^^ my 2 titos ang my tita helped us out all
throughout the process kahit naman ala silang mkkuha or whatever. wala lang
they just wanted to help out. they lent their cars, time, sweat, pagod.. ngbuhat 
ng mga kama, kutson, sofa, lamesang mbigat... basta mdami. ala lang just want
to say, THANK YOU TITO RUBEN, TITO ROLLY AND TITA RITA.^_^

right now were still in the old unit. haha this is due to my pushing. kasi wala pang
internet dun eh, on monday pa. eh xempre i want to talk to red and kat.. snsabi ng
dad ko knina nga.. dun daw kami matutulog lahat. eh sabi ko firmly, dun ako sa 
kabila matutulog. sabi dun daw.. sabi ko, ayoko nga eh klangan ko ng internet eh!
haha soo payag.^^

humm.. what else ba kwento? right now i'm talking with cue. it feels weird to
call him other than that kasi un na tawag ko sa knya dati pa hehe. anyway ala lang
kwentuhan kwentuhan.. until tinawag na daw xa pra tumao dun sa tindahan! hehe..

si red may sakit ata ngaun. he got rained on the other day kaya kgabi ang sakit ng
ulo nya. : ( wawa naman ung babuy ko... huhu i miss him soo much. haay last night
kainis i slept again playing his character. buti di nmatay hehe.. anyway haay aun
pala news.. we will be quitting MU soon. T_T huhu i cried nga when red broke the
news huhuhu... kasi daw, the value of mU is going down na kya while it's still quite
high, ibenta nlang daw para di sayang ung mga gastos for that. haay... ala lang
npalapit (if that is possible haha.) na ako dun sa characters namin dun eh kaya
ala lang sayang din. i don't want to level it up na nga eh huhu kasi ala lang were
gonna sell it naman eh so what's the use...

one week til red's birthday!! i'm excited already with my surprise for him!! i still
have to coordinate with kat kung kelan nya ibbigay ung cake at card kasi nkkahiya
naman kung sunday baka may ggawin pa xa eh. basta hehe KAT WHENEVER
THIS WEEKEND KA PEDE. SATURDAY OR SUNDAY. SABIHIN MO LANG.^^
hehe kasi ala lang plano ko na kpag bnigay mo ttawag ako eh.^^ hehe..

oh well hehe next time with the kwento na. i'm quite tired na hehe got to rest
before chatting with red later.^^ avidazi..

simply, WOW.

YOU ARE MY GODS.


Canon.. two versions. WOW.



this is SO COOL.

phew-hew.

haay THANK GOD today is over. today meaning tapos na lahat ng tests
and requirements and i have nothing to think about.. for now. haha
i'm blogging sa break ko after humanities.. it's 6:30 na nga eh.
well got to get back to the room na ksi in a few minutes tapos na..
i just wanted to heave a big sigh of relief at tapos na din.. woohoo!

more on this after class hehe.

hehehe.

wow haven't posted in three days.. record ata un ah!^_^ anyway..
been kinda busy lately.. with MU. haha kala mo kung ano! pero un
hehe.. and the good news, woohoo si kat ngmmU na din! ay dlawa
pala mU ni kat.. isang laro, isang... hehe kat you know what i
mean!^_^ hehe ala lang kat i'm happy for you.. if ever anything
blossoms from it hehe. no one really reads my blog anymore kaya
i guess aus lang^_^ haha excited na ko kat laro ng mU tuloy^_^

ugh... the only downside to my day was my anatomy test. DON'T
WANT TO REMEMBER IT... EVER. grabe.. i got 82%. multiple choice
na nga lang eh.. tapos na jumble ko ung meaning ng mga items..
huhu eh kasi naman ang dami eh! how was i supposed to remember
na hypertonic is kapag LOW ung concentration ng salt and hypotonic
is HIGH. kaya nga hyper and hypo eh>>< anyway enough of that..
i'll just have to do better next time.

my personal life naman ngaun is.. BLISS. i'm having fun with kat..
no fights and all supportan kami ni red.. haay. hehe these two
people are the pinakaspecial sakin. PROMISE. kat is like my sister
na and red is like my husband! haha.. hope so noh.^_^ haay hehe
soo sana kat would forget ung sinabi nya dati na she wouldn't
attend my wedding and be maid(matron?? humm..^_^) of honor kapag
si red daw ung groom.>.< but that was a long... LONG time ago.
i know naman, I HOPE, na di na ganun ang tingin ni kat kay red.^_^
that's what i've been bumming about dati eh.. i wanted naman
my bestfrend and boyfrend to get along. THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT
TO ME.

i'm supposed to write an essay nnaman for english tomorrow,
study for the humanities and algebra test, and finish the 50+
pages of homework. as of now, WALA PA AKONG NASISIMULAN. haha..
traits of an augustinian = cramming. ughh.. pero kanina sa test
prang di gumana un ah. but i know puyatan blues/cramming will
work for me hehehe.

ok for now, hangang here nlang. will open mU and leave red's
char AFK. then i'm gonna start my math homework and when i'm
tired of that, write a reviewer for humanities. THAT'S A PLAN.^_^
notice i left out english?? hehe i'm just tired of english.
i'll find time tomorrow hehe. THAT'S A PLAN TALAGA.^_^