what is happening?

I haven't posted here lately. Hehe I've noticed that i just go here to dish out on my problems. Well.. not a lot of people know about this blog kasi eh, unlike Multiply.

Anyway, here's my current dillemma. I don't even remember the last time Red and I last talked online.. I mean with both of us sitting in front of the computer, focusing on just us. I miss him.. I asked him the other day, through text though, when he would have any free time during the day. He said, his schedule is booked.. from 10-4 during tuesdays and thursdays (no breaks albeit!), with him tutoring at 5. :(

what about me bebe.. what about me. huhu. i want time too..

[H]ouse, M.D.

great. just GREAT. i was writing about House just a while ago, and behold. it's all gone. yep. pressed one button and poof, no more long blog entry.

anyway, to sum it all up, House is my favorite show on TV today. So much that he's inspired me to be a doctor, maybe someday. well, i just wrote about these stuff a while ago so i don't want to redo it again. maybe next time. it's 1 in the morning for crying out loud! Good night, cyberspace.

helo, helo dear blog.. long time no see? anyway hehe.. i just feel like writing, updating on what's up hehe. i just got my grades this weekend.. 4.0 GPA. all A's. first time haha. i worked real hard on this. ACT grades were well above the maximum points i need for the Nursing program. This means, i'm almost all set. i just need to get into the nursing program eh?


anyway, this month has been quite dull for me. me and red? I don't know. i don't really know. we're 'us' but we don't talk often. when i'm free, he's either out of load or doing something. he doesn't text me often too.. go figure. no load. i try to understand, i honestly do. but i can't stay in love with someone who's invisible. he's like invisible to me already.. i try to stay in love but he's not helping one tiny bit. what does he do to make me want to stay in love? does he constantly text or email just to let me know that he needs me too? nope. he says he's being loyal and stuff, doing this and that for us, but i don't see it sorry. this relationship, is so starting to get hopeless.


i've started playing ragnarok again. in chaos hehe. there i get to play with kat, kuya jau and all the other people there. initially, i wanted to make a character for red, but, he seems to not be online anytime at all so, split decision there. pff..


there was this "journal entry" (i.e. journal entry in quotes because i just wrote one entry in that notebook then stopped. hehe.) that i just recently uncovered and it quite disturbed and stirred some lost emotions i had before. here's a quote from it..

"with him at least, i have fun. with red, i have fun for a few days and then we fight again. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of his jealousy."

haay. i've been through a lot with red but honestly, A LOT of it aren't good memories. we've had awful fights, which most of the time led to me begging for his forgiveness even when i didn't know what the problem was. Right now, maybe what's making me hold on is his "love" for me. he says that his love for me will last forever and ever. that even if i do decide to break up, i'd be the "only" girl he would love truly. i honestly don't know. haay.


i missed blogging in this blog. this has been my outlet, mostly of problems. i just have to write them down. keeping them in will do me no good. so i write.. and i pour my being, into cyberspace and beyond.

i will start posting pictures with my entries soon. i've looked at my blog before april and it looked like a long electronic novel. haha. i've got to shake things up here.. less of the past and more of the current. i want color, vibrancy, life. i don't want blandness, idleness, nothing. oh well. i still need to experience life.


oohh look at what i baked yesterday. yummy.

crazy and confused.

easter weekend. well, it was a nice weekend spent with family.. singing songs in the car, eating our hearts out in the buffet, surprise egghunting, you know those stuff. went bisita iglesia-ing. which was okay. humm.. a nice respite from being cooped up in the house. a respite from going online only to argue with somebody.

i'm getting tired of it already. sometimes, it's like i don't feel anything anymore. i don't feel hurt, anger, frustration, nor love. just, nothing. i don't want to feel that way about this relationship. i've invested so much into it -- time, emotions, money, a lot. but then, when is enough enough? i know i should have asked this a long time ago, but it's really hard when you love a person. accepting him as he is.. thoughts muddled by love.. it's hard. but it's just so hard loving a person who has completely opposite ideals as i do. someone who wants to put our relationship first before anything -- before family, studies, having a life. i know in a way that's ok, you wouldn't wonder if he's cheating on you or not. but there just comes a point when i just choke. when i can't take it anymore. when i need other people too. as i told him.. "man does not live on bread alone." i can't live on him alone. if i don't see a change in his ideals soon, i just don't know if i could continue anymore. i've told him countless of times what my ideas are. the ball is in his court not mine. i know that i am perfectly fine, normal, sane. but he.. he cannot accept that he's wrong, that there's something wrong with him. haay. i just don't know anymore. i just don't know..

new background. hehe just wanted a change. more brighter.

helo there.

well, it's been a LONG time since the last time i've blogged here. just had to pick up on stuff, be detached, be normal. i don't know, this blog reminds me of bad emotions.. everytime i felt bad about something i'd blog about it here. only kat and kuya jau really went to this blog but i don't know if they still do because well, they're busy with each other. can't blame them though, they're happy eh hehe. good for them. well, wala lang maybe that's why i let off from this din.. sometimes when i blog here and they comment, they sometimes say things that really, don't make me feel better. no offense to them, they're great, pero sometimes it's just.. it's unconsoling hehe. pero i'm still glad for them.. kasi sila lang naman tlagang npagkkwentuhan ko ng lahat. hehe.

somehow, i miss my old friendship with kat. ung kami lang haha walang boyfriends hehe. when we would tell each other everything. i think we still do, well i do.. pero syempre there are stuff na sa boyfriend mo nalng masabi and ganun. la lang, msarap ung feeling na wow ako ung tnrust nya with her secrets ung ganun hehe. haay.. totoo nga ung sa human growth class ko.. as people enter late adolescence, mas priority na nila ang intimate relationships meaning boy-girl things. kpag middle adolescence, friendships pa ang mas priority, pero in that stage, prang it's building up ung friendships na un. oh well, so much for the lecture.:D

i watched the hills in mtv, ung whole season nya.. and guess what it reminded me of? huhu.. it reminded me of kat and me. eto kasi ung story nya.. dun sa start nung season, lauren and heidi just moved in together in their own apartment. they were the best of friends.. tapos heidi started seeing this guy, spencer and they started getting close. at first, lauren was all okay with it. tapos dumating ung time na lauren was not for spencer anymore. heidi was prang prioritizing spencer na more than lauren.. prang even if roommates nga sila wala nman prati si heidi. so lauren started going out with other friends, and even like started being distant to heidi. may mga times nga na kpag nghangout sila ksama ng ibang friends si heidi leftout na xa. so un.. pero even though minsan nman they bond parin.. pero nung ending prioritize ni heidi si spencer and moved out from her and lauren's apartment. ouch.

prang wala lang.. i really saw kat and me as them. i'll admit, prang ako si heidi huhu. prang tlagng pnprioritize ko si red prati. may time na nging distant kami ni kat.. tapos nung prang dumating sakin ang realization na kat is important too, aun bond bond ulit hehe. tapos nman ng mgkaboyfriend si kat aun may times na distant ulit hehe. aus lang nman eh part of growing up.. i just hope la lang, na kat will still be a part of my life, willingly diba hehe. panget naman ung prang ako nlang ung feeling na bestfriend ko padin xa. huhu that would suck really.

red and i are.. well, we are fine. i mean, walang away as of now.. pero i am still unsure kng uuwi ako. haay.. naisip ko, kpag i do go home, i might/probably lose my part-time job. kng legal sana akong mgwork that would be no problem kasi i could find work some other place. pero hindi eh. tapos may oppurtunity pa na prang mganda.. i mean, it's school stuff pero mgaadd sa credentials diba. haay. maybe this is really the time na mgfocus kami on schoolwork. cguro kaya ganito gnawa ni lord hehe. everything happens for a reason nga dba? oh well. will post often na here. kahit na walang mgbasa aus lang. i missed writing.

i just finished talking with kuya jaurel. wala lang.. last kong sinabi is.. natatakot akong umuwi, kasi baka prati nlang akong awayin ni red.. i'm scared.. wala lang, because of the past maybe. lam nyo ba before wala lang, natatakot ako kay red. kapag nggalit xa, he'd be an entirely different person. alala ko before, kasi 2:45 uwian ko pero 4:30 pa ako ssunduin, pmunta akong villamor. plan ko balikan ako. pero i don't remember what happened, nagalit xa. to cut it short, hindi ako nkabalik ng school ng 4:30.. went home late. know what he did? mental torture.. maybe? basta he wouldn't give me my bag.. i took my cellphone. ngttext na ung sundo ko, he deleted it. he scares me. ung lam mo ung calm terror? i mean, he's doing nothing physically, pero natatkot ka.

i'm scared. i don't want him to do those things again. but, can i really make him stop his old ways? i'm scared.. and lonely.

title-less.

i've noticed that i only write in this blog when i'm sad or what. haay. i just feel sad hehe.. it's sad to be alone. i know that i am not alone, i have people far away.. pero, iba padin ung kasama mo, as in ung nahahawakan mo at nakkita. it's been a long time since i've really talked to heart to heart with someone really close to me. it's depressing.. my life seems surreal, unreal, in an odd way. my life revolves around this laptop, my lifeline. it's like, the people i talk to here are part of the system. do you think there will ever be a chance that those people i could see? i never like tears, tears are for sissies. sissies like me..

haay... talking to kat kanina, i don't know. lam mo un, i would want to hear her kwentos pero deep inside, i don't. don't get me wrong.. wala lang, i feel kasi, sa totoo lang i feel hurt. why? because i know those things will never happen to me. not that there wouldn't be a chance, pero everything seems happening to her right now. hehe she's happy, i know it. wala lang, pero instead of lessening the depression, i feel it just adds to it. wala lang.. i'm happy for her naman eh.. gets mo ba? i mean, wala lang hearing kwentos, happy ones about her and kuya, makes me sad and just, even lonelier. when i go to red's house, he doesn't want me to stay hehe. i mean, ayaw nyang dun kami. once nga lang ako nkapasok ng bahay nila eh hehe. wala lang.. oh well, this is what happens when i go multiply/friendster/whatever surfing. i see other people's lives and wish mine was like that too. i think i have a self-confidence/self-esteem problem. haay. sad.

you know what i've resorted to? reality shows. my weakness/demise. currently watching a few.. real housewifes of orange county, top design, girls next door.. favorite haha, the hills, whatever. know why the sudden draw to the tellie?? got a tv in my room now. grr. more reason not to get out of bed. i'm on a bum diet. sleep, computer, tv, eat. and do it all over again. shet. now where is advancement now huh?

watched the season finale of the OC kanina. even though i haven't watched it for more than a year. anyway. well, i was watching it for the hype eh.. it was on the news eh.. "Season Finale of the OC, Thursday, right after American Idol, Only on FOX." soo, got my fix of American Idol, which i must say, i'm following also, and, watched the OC next. oh well, everyone was happy. broken down mansion.. moved to first home.. Summer and Cohen first living together, bumming.. watching tv all day.. Summer giving up dream of being an activist for GEORGE.. summer and cohen finally realizing wow we should do something with our lives.. summer went to be an activist saying, "Cohen, you are my destiny" aww how sappy.. and the end end END!! summer and cohen getting married. oohh so well i'm only interested in summer and cohen so what! haay. well, nice kind of a distraction i must say hehe. after that.. uhh.. nothing.

oh well got to sleep. need to wake up early. i hope. get to talk to red at least. hope. hope. hope. haay still sad. that summer and cohen thing helped though. ohh summer and cohen.

a harsh yet true realization.

i feel sad right now because i am so stuck. stuck in the past while everyone else has obviously moved on to a better pasture. right now, i don't know, i feel like crying in my own little cave. i see other people's multiplies, friendsters, whatever.. and i see them having fun, enjoying college life, living life. and i don't know.. i'm stuck. literally stuck. can't even talk to my best friend right now because her boyfriend's with her. and her laptop's dead so still. not that it's bad.. and not that i'm not happy for her. ala lang, i usually check her friendster, and still it's like, last logged in: 24 hours. i'm like aww.. she can't even say anything more than "helo" or something huhu in yahoo messenger nga eh. hehe you'd expect at least may emoticon or something or something longer pero wala.. just, helo.

i just feel so sad. hehe speaking of friendster pa.. wala lang i remembered, i was playing with the featured friends option sa friendster. xempre theres red.. kat.. red.. kat..? ok so i put kuya jaurel.. and nikole.. .... ... ... ... ... i couldn't think of anymore.. haha can you imagine that?? i've got like 400 atang friends in friendster and i can't even choose 6 out of the hat! shet. kat and red. after that, i'm sort of blank. yes, friend din nman si kuya jau, and si nikole, pero not like what i share with kat and red. haha lam mo nilagay ko nlang pra di nman mukhang bunge? i put ung filipina classmate ko ngang si giezel on there, and would you believe, ahoy-juniors. ok how lame can i be? hehe.

i'm always complaining about something noh? wala lang.. i'm really sad.

kinda bitter right now.

well, forgot my phone at home. shet. kaya eto nsa computer ako. grr. dun lang nman un eh i hope no one would read it. i painted my nails. french-tipped with a twist hehe. black tips hehe. oh well. not why i'm bitter right now. blah.


i don't like my dad. he does not like me. oh diba, perfect match. kgabi pnpabili nya sakin ung sa ebay thing eh ppunta na kaming target ng mom ko kasi anong oras na eh. 30 minutes nlang sara na. di pmunta ako dun. eh xa daw ggawa. di xa. eh di nman alam kng alin. edi turo ko. ganyan ganyan. eh naasar. sabi, umalis ka na nga lang! edi umalis ako. sabi nya eh. di snabi sa mom ko, pagalit nlang parati blah blah. edi momy ko tumtulong. khit na ako padin ung tntanong. grr. whatever. tapos bnilhan ko xa gloves.. para san daw. sabi ko, eh kasi malamig eh. hehe. totoo naman eh. oh well. ngaung umaga, late na mom ko. ayaw ako ihatid sa skul. fine. whatever. now what did i do? sheess. sabi ng mom ko, lambingin ko nga daw kasi, wala daw akong respeto sa dad ko. eh sori na pero i can't force myself to like my dad. i just do not like him.

here i am, again.

it's been a long time since i last posted a blog here. i haven't been posting anything anywhere anyway so la lang. life for me, has been crazy. well, red and i are ok now hehe, which is a good thing naman eh. just one more week until our two year anniversary hehe. it's ok i guess that we are like this.. a bit apart you know. he is now really focusing on his studies and i am too. haha toh nga pala on a great note.. you know what score i got on the first anatomy test?? 102/100 yeah!!! woohooo! ako ata ung highest hehe.^_^ well, it's great that i got off on the right foot! grabe saya ng feeling hehe first time eh! tapos first person na inannounce ko un xempre text agad kay red.^_^ weee..^__^ well, the only thing i could complain about is that, red and i don't talk as much anymore. maybe there's just things we have to sacrifice to get to the things we want, right bebe? hehe, wala lang and there was this one time na he said to me which really meant a lot to me. "beb, kahit na nglalaro tayo at puro laro ung snsabi ko.. wag mong isipin na un lang ung gusto ko ha? masaya ako na mgksama tayo at sobrang nammiss kita.." (not the exact words, pero close.) haay. i miss him too..

humm.. what else is happening? humm oh un pala, si giezel sa skul nkkasama ko nman kpag after anatomy hehe. well, don't think na that is a lot, it's just.. well, around 30 minutes kasi may class ako next. wala lang. aus lang naman xa. she watched full house too hehe. well, there's not a lot to say pa naman. i don't t know. well, i guess this is one step better than having to eat all alone again. even if we don't have a lot to talk about hehe. yet?

i miss kat and kuya jau.. i don't get to talk to them that much anymore. haay. hehe sana andun nlang kasi ako eh.. it's much better to open up kapag andun kaharap mo ung tao. haay.

eeewwkay so today araw. nyak. what-a-start. oh syet wait lang at ppatayin na ako ng mom ko klagnan na ung pictures. grrr bat pa kasi cam ko ginamit eh pede nman ung sa knila kaya yan tuloy ako kinukulit! *pause.* OK game hehe. well, today is a day, obviously. nothing special really happened.. ooh guess what? this is maybe the first time in a LONG TIME na nagising akong maaga! maaga meaning before 8:00 hehe. and know why? hehe i was gonna surprise red na maaga ako ngising para mkausap kami.^_^ pero, hehe sayang he was tutoring somebody eh. hey i didn't mention it pa pero red is tutoring somebody, a high school student daw, and he will get paid 1.5k every month.^_^ o diba hehe at least we are both moving forward hehe. he's slowly but surely getting his money back, and i am, trying to stay true to my goal na good grades this sem. haay speaking of, i'm quite exhausted already. wala lang, i just wanted to blog about something. kahit ano lang. tomorrow, school. i would probably see giezel again. haha. on her frendster describe nya sarili nya as a shopper.. shop, shop, shop. yikes hehe not that that is bad, it's just, whoopps baka magastos ko ang aking hard-earned pera sa shopping hehe. i'd do that when i get to the philippines nalang hehe. kanina nga nagiimagine na ako eh, kami ni red or kat ppuntang greenhills mgbbargain shopping haha. i'm more of a bargain shopper kasi eh. do not mind about brands naman eh. what i am looking for is ung my kind of style. ayaw ko ung oo nga branded nga ung clothes di ko naman type. kaya mapili din ako eh hehe. what's the difference ba if it's branded or not? will that make you more or less attractive? hehe wala lang nasa ngdadala naman un ng damit eh. so watch out tiangges and greenhills, i will shop there haha.

i was imagining na what i will do when i get to the philippines. nabasa ko sa blog ni paula (gf ni sean..) na for their first anniversary they went to tagaytay tapos sila lang overnight sila dun. which was sweet din hehe. i was imagining na, i wish red and i could do the same. hehe. pero i think that the most i could get close to that is kung may ksama kaming iba. ung hindi kaming two lang. soo, i want kat and kuya with us too!^__^ punta taung tagaytay tapos nun punta tau ng quezon!^__^ o diba masaya hehe. mgrent lang tau ng kotse/van para hindi na tau stuck.. problem is sino mgddrive! hahaha. pero hassle kung lam mo un commute.. cguro kng papuntang tagaytay pede pa pero, quezon? that might be hard. well, kng ksama mga cousins ko which is masaya din pede haha. wow ang layo na ng train of thought ko! first things first noH! dad ko pa nga di ko pa nacconvince eh hahahhaa. haay DAD. grrrrr xa naman parati ung problem eh. mom ko aus na responsible naman daw ako. the problem is my dad grr. haay time will tell.. i am so excited, i hope he doesn't spoil everything for me. haay.

ok, WE ARE BACK IN BUSINESS!

haha. red and i are back! no more away.. argument, OVER! finally din noh. it's been like 3 weeks na since we started fighting. don't jinx me, i don't want to fight anymore hehe. anyway, right now, one of my LEAST favorite people is here. ugh. parents invited her over for dinner. nyek. i do not like her. tita loretto. she's the one who calls red, "crazy." that was unwarranted advice ha parati tinatanong na, are you still boyfrend-girlfrend? and i bravingly answer, YES. ugh don't like her, AT ALL.

eto kwento. kanina, me and my mom were on our way to walmart tapos tinanong ko/state/sabi, "momy paalam mo na ako kay dady na uuwi ako sa summer ha." tapos sabi nya, hindi daw isang sabihan lang un. ooowwkkeeyy. so un the sermon/monologue started from there. "kelangan ng assurance ni dady na you won't do anything wrong kapag ikaw lang dun. Ang kinakatakot namin ni dady baka madala kayo ng emotions nyo bigla kaung mgpakasal doon. (whaa?) or baka naman pagbalik mo dito, buntis ka na. alam mo si ate louie?(ate louie = cousin) kita mo 23 lang ngaun pero ang dami ng problema. ngasawa ng pagka-'insert age' (can't remember basta YOUNG.) ngaun problema nanaman dun sa asawa, umalis sa trabaho nya and all. ayaw naming mging isang louie ka. ako (mom) alam ko you are responsible enough pero si dady un klangan mo kausapin." uhmm i don't think i will be that caught up naman, would i? if not, i know naman that kat and kuya jau will be there to keep my head grounded. i have set my priorities and i do not see myself married/baby-carrying anytime in the near future. kaya, if ever man something in that nature happens, i know what i have to do. helo i still want to like buy my own house, my car, and everything i'd want to get before that. by the time i do get that, i want to say na, i already satisfied my being unmarried and babyless. hehe. and having a job, made me kind of realize that. having a job brings me so much closer to the things i want to do. haay. tapos eto pa. sabi ng mom ko, "eh si alfred naman?" and i was like, eh si red nga mgssummer eh! since he went back to first year, he's doing all he can para mkatapos ng mabilis. i know that red made a mistake before by being kicked out and regrets it so much. hehe he reminds me that often, that this is his time to fix his life. i am pretty sure that marriage and having a baby are FAR from his mind right now. NO FREAKIN WAY. we have to fix our futures. we have so much to prove. no way are we going to make mistakes like that. no way. i hope not.

anyway, just finished dinner. kept my eyes on the prize (food hehe.) and out of sight from that tita loretto. eww. don't get me wrong ha maybe she is nice, pero, she is not my type. i mean, not my type na i'd be all kwento-ish and stuff. i'd stay civil of course pero, hey, don't mess with my life lady. haha. you have no right to say na my boyfriend is crazy and he is no good. you have no right to say that i should just break up with him and keep on checking everytime we meet if we are still together. sino ka ha? even katrina doesn't say something as blunt. EVEN my mother doesn't say that kahit na i've said some mean stuff to her. eh ikaw, WHO ARE YOU? katrina and my mom are the only ones that could sway my thought pero ikaw, you are not part of that.
*mean side of diane.* sorry na, i do not like her.

i bought red a card already.^_^ i don't know eh, i'm thinking na baka card nlang isend ko to him. how lame noh 2nd anniversary and i'd send a card? hehehe aus lang. i'm thinking of some other way of making it up. probably i'd try ung online thing na cake from online.. i don't know hehe. or i'd just send him money.. which i am not for actually. eh kasi naman eh, prang ang impersonal ng ganun. i'd love to send him something i thought of, pero shipping, is EXPENSIVE. ung dati i sent a package ke kat pero that was through my tito and ayaw ko lang mggambala pa ng other people to do my stuff. anyway, we'll just see how it works out.


to happy days ahead, with love and commitment, friendship and trust, marriage and baby LESS.. CHEERS TO THAT!

thank you to katrina and kuya jaurel, special mention hehe. wala lang without you guys supporting me, i don't know. baka i'm such a mess right now.. and also, thank you red, we are still together despite this awfully rocky journey. the waters might have been rough and choppy, pero at least we are going to have smooth sailing from here. i love all of you.

uhmm..

i've just read that blog kat sent me to read. humm. i think she made it for me. i don't know whether to feel happy or what hehe.. pero thanks kat.. it didn't say what i should do or anything.humm.. anyway, haay red is my intimidator, no doubt. but then there's my dad too but that is an entirely different story. red has this need for control, this belief that yes he is the man, he should be in control. hehe i don't know what led him to think this way, pero sana, he never had this stick-thorn in his personality. the red that i know, and have loved, is really a nice person. hehe you might think otherwise pero that's maybe because all the negative is focused. he cared so much for me and that is what stuck in my head. i saw the other side, now i've seen both sides of him. the bad and the good. pero ngaun prang ung naffocus nlang ung bad side nya sa ibang tao and that doesn't quite sit well with me. oo nga hehe mgkaaway kami ngaun, but he is still my boyfriend and i love him. hehe i feel stupid nga kasi in a way, i still want to protect him. i'm weird, aren't i? anyway, ala lang it feels wrong na people think it crazy to stay with somebody who is like red. kasi, that isn't the only side to him eh.

haay hehe diba i have to understand, be in the place of that person to understand him? hehe maybe that's what makes me wonder and think na, kawawa naman xa. this is what i think.. since lam mo un iniwan ko xa dun and he couldn't do anything about it, lam mo un he's defenseless eh prang even if he wanted with all his might to make me stay, he couldn't. kaya hehe maybe this is his way of making me stay. i've left him na before and ngaun prang ung gusto lang nya is my attention. he just needs my attention..

Thank you kat for that blog, post, thing hehe. thanks so much for caring.^_^ i am lucky to have kat as my best friend.^_^ anyway grr, it's 10:15 and my class is 11.. told myself na i'd study beforehand o diba bagong routine hehe. prang, ung time na hindi ko nkkausap si red, iaaral ko nalang. i promised him before this semester that i would work hard for this semester, to prove na hindi ako t****. pero now i realize, i don't need to prove anything to anybody, not even red. the only person i have anything to prove to is.. MYSELF. hehe.

this has been one whacked rollercoaster ride and i am very thankful that i have had the support of good friends. thanks kat and kuya jau.. thanks nikole for the occasional kwentos. and especially, i'd still want to thank red, because even with all the fights and tampuhans, even if we are still at it now, i know we've been through so much that the mere memory of those events, comforts me. Thank you Lord for the gift of people and friends.